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How to overcome self limiting beliefs

Do you ever wonder if you have two personalities? First there’s the confident, positive, driven you. Then, there’s the you that tells you you’re not enough. That you’re never going to figure it out. That you’re not loved or worthy. If you shared what is in your head about yourself right now, what would you say? Go ahead, write it down. Get it out of your head and put it on a piece of paper. Look at what you wrote. Would you say what you wrote down about yourself is limiting you? If you answered yes to that question then the good news is you are here and you’re about to learn how to overcome self limiting beliefs.

But first, what you wrote down, is that the truth? My guess is, that if you are reading this right now you might be saying something that isn’t that kind about yourself. Maybe what’s in your head is actually quite negative and when you finally wrote it down, you looked at it and felt like crap about it or had a moment of “whoa, I actually think that?” . Maybe you’ve revealed something to yourself that often goes overlooked and on autopilot.

Whoa, that’s deep right?! The first time you become aware of your own self limiting beliefs it can be tough to process. Afterall who would want to say outloud to any other human being: “I am not enough”, or “I don’t feel loved”. Truth is you’re not the only one. You’re human and 100% of us have these thoughts from time to time.  Though, some people have these thoughts more frequently than others. Unfortunately, most people never learn that they can tame them. You can control and overcome self limiting beliefs. Read on to learn how.

How to overcome self limiting beliefs

Why you feel this way

Self limiting beliefs are created slowly and repetitively over time. Over the course of our lives we all experience moments of pain or pleasure that get ingrained in our nervous system. When those moments happen we make them mean something, we add language to them. For instance, you raise your hand to speak at a work meeting and your idea gets made into a company joke. Your brain might record this moment as a painful experience. You might make it mean that you’re an idiot and you should make sure you’re more prepared with what you say before you share your ideas. You might come to believe that you should never share ideas off the cuff, or that you aren’t smart. This is how a belief system gets formed. And guess what’s crazy, you created it. Your internal self merged with your external world and boom. You learned something and it turned into a belief.

Self limiting beliefs are nothing more than rules or commands to our nervous system about how we are going to respond, they shape our thoughts and create a filter on our reality. Beliefs shape your daily experience whether you’re cognizant of that or not. What beliefs do you have that you see might by assumptions about yourself, about others, about the world? You use beliefs to help you understand the world around you. They help you feel certain about your future, make you feel safe and secure. We all crave a sense of certainty. When we are certain we can typically feel a sense of peace, calm, allowing us to either reduce or increase stress we have about a person or thing.

And here’s the kicker: You create your belief systems. Your beliefs about yourself and the world around are shaped during your childhood. You learn what to believe from all your experiences, and from role models. These beliefs are so ingrained that we think them sometimes without really questioning why we think them or where they originally came from. That means, you might be limiting yourself and no knowing it. So it’s critical you start to tune in, to notice your thoughts and to ask: Is this belief serving me or is it a self limiting belief?

The other crazy part about self limiting beliefs is we anchor them into our bodies. A song comes up, a word is said, and boom, our brain attaches to a memory and draws out an emotion that’s consistent with it. And that memory triggers us in a present totally unrelated moment. So the question becomes: How do you take control? How do you overcome your self limiting beliefs?

Awareness is always the first step

Our thoughts, patterns, behaviors and belief systems serve us at different points of time. Maybe for some period of time a belief you hold has worked for you and now it no longer does. Once you start to become aware of your thinking you can make more conscious choices. You can then assess whether what you’ve been doing, thinking or feeling truly works for you!

Beliefs are not facts. You have the power to change them. It might be time to do an audit on what you belief. Consider these questions about some of the beliefs you hold to be true….

  • What is great about this belief?
  • What are the negative consequences that are associated with me having this belief?
  • What have I missed out on by having this belief, who have I affected?
  • Where has it limited me in my life?
  • What are the labels you’ve given yourself because you think or feel this way?
  • What expectations have you set for others based on your belief?
  • What value am I gaining by holding onto this belief?
  • What good intention does this or did this belief provide me with?

Remember that when you created this limiting belief consciously or unconsciously you did it with good intentions. The question is does it still serve you or is it a self limiting belief? What new belief could you take on?

See the Big Picture

Let’s take this a step further, now that you have assessed the value and or challenges of a belief add more senses to it. Visualize how the belief has impacted your life.

  • How do you picture it in your mind?
  • What emotions do you feel when you imagine it to be true?
  • What does it look like?
  • What does it sound like?
  • Is there a smell or feeling attached to this belief?
  • Does it have a taste?

Open your eyes and write it all down. You may have noticed that visualizing makes your beliefs more intense, more vivid.

Now the ultimate question…

Do you want to change this belief?

Changing anything in our lives starts with a decision. That decision for things to be different than they have been in any other moment before this. From that decision we have to commit to what is necessary to change and take action to ensure things are different. In order to do that ask yourself these questions. If the following were true how would you act differently?

If you believed responsibility for this change rests in your hands, what would you do?

If you believed change happens instantly when you commit, what would you do?

If you believed things must change now, what action would you take immediately?

Choose your ritual

Before you move to believing a new more empowering belief, you have to toss the old self limiting beliefs away! The way you choose to do this is up to you. Burn it. Write it down and throw it away! Or, say your self limiting beliefs out loud to a friend and yell out how it’s such BS. The time for that belief to be ruling your life in any form is over!!

Step up and build your new belief

Now we get to step up into our new empowering beliefs. Here is where you can consider: Who do you really want to be? What do you desperately want to achieve in your life?

Consider your ultimate outcome for yourself, write it out in full.

  • What would you need to believe about yourself in order to achieve this?
  • What would you say, what would you think or focus on when you were challenged as this new version of you?
  • What are things you can do to condition this new empowering belief?
  • What actions can you take right now to strengthen this belief?
  • Is there any roles models you want to align with?
  • Is their a quote or tagline you want to create for yourself to ingrain this new belief in your mind?

Remember your old beliefs were built one strand at a time. Building new beliefs is like building a muscle. Transformation is a process, the level of pain we endure is somewhat up to us. Just as this self limiting belief wasn’t made overnight you may notice it wanting to creep back in. So we repeat the pattern of breaking this belief over and over until it is completely annihilated from our body and minds. If this old belief creeps back in try approaching it with curiosity. Why did it show up? What triggered it? 

Pay attention to your thoughts. It may not feel as comfortable to have this new belief as it did with your old self limiting belief. It’s like a new pair of shoes, it takes time to adjust. Be your own observer, watch what works for you and what doesn’t. Monitoring and altering your thoughts is a major step in getting what you want in life.

Learn more about Kay Walker at http://iamkaywalker.com

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to amp it up

Suffering from no energy? Feel tapped out? Exhausted? Sluggish? At the end of the day do you want to just sack out on the couch.

You may be super inspired to get more done, move your life forward and start a business, write a book, renovate your home or volunteer your time. Most people have at least one key project that they want to get done, but there is a often one thing in the way to getting it done.

Think of one major accomplishment you’d like to achieve in the near future? Got it?

What do you think is in the way? What’s the number one reason you have for why you don’t have what you want? Is it… Time? Money? Willpower? There is one sneaky culprit that most people never consider. And this one affects all the other variables. The most common big, bad, dream-killing culprit is: No energy.

At the end of the day, you probably don’t have any reserves to take that next step, get in action and get your pet project started.

Low energy, or no energy is the culprit

Most people are just tapped out. They don’t have the energy to start one more task, even if they are inspired to get it done. Low energy, or no energy is the culprit.

Energy is your baseline. It’s a critical force, such that if lost all your energy, you’d have nothing. You’ll understand this if you’ve ever been acutely or chronically sick…or cared for someone in that condition.

When you operate your life on no energy, your ability to get things done is seriously hampered. You don’t want to work. Your thinking becomes foggy. It’s hard to focus. You may even want to avoid other people when you’re energetically tapped out. That’s energy loss at its worst.

However, most people take their energy stores for granted. They don’t realize they are operating  with very low energy. In fact, most people use energy boosting substances to try to charge themselves up to generate more energy. Things like: Caffeine, sugar, or in some cases pharmaceuticals or narcotics.

It’s not your fault if you fall into that camp. Most of us use artificial stimulants like caffeine or sugar.  We don’t have the facts straight on the best ways to amp up our energy stores. Here’s why: Few people are properly educated on how to feel more energized.

How to get your energy back

Read on and you’ll learn some very simple ways to up amp up your energy levels. You’ll see how you can get more done, and feel one thousand times better in body, mind and spirit.

What does that means for your life? Perhaps, an extra couple hours at the end of your work day to jump into that project you’ve been thinking about, but you’ve been too tired to put into action. Or more energy might simply heighten your level of thinking and focus so you can perform better in all areas of your life.  When you feel energetically awesome, you really become unstoppable.

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to boost energy stores

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to amp it up

Energy Booster 1: Drink more water

Your body is made up of 75% water. You have 75% water in your muscles. Your bones are 25% water. Water is a life sustaining solvent. It regulates the functions of all your systems.

If you feel like you have no energy one of the simplest energy boosters is to drink more water. You’ve likely been told that before. Are you doing it? If not, what’s in the way for you? If you hate the taste, inject your water with fruit or citrus. Make it interesting. As a general rule you should be drinking 4 pints, or about 2 litres, of water per day. If you drink a lot of juice, coffee or soda you’ll need to drink even more. Sugary drinks or caffeinated beverages are energy suckers. You’ll also want to cut back on caffeine, sugar and alcohol. These can be hard to do, but it’s rewarding if you can make small to moderate changes.

Here’s what happens when you consume sugar, caffeine or alcohol: You’ll get a surge in energy from your glucose levels spiking and dopamine (a happy brain chemical) flooding your brain. The surge will bring you high and then drop you really low. Your body will react by feeling even less energized and craving more sugar, caffeine or alcohol.

No 1 energy booster is water
Water is a major energy booster. Infuse it with fruit to make it interesting

When it comes to drinking more water it’s about balance and conditioning. If you’re not an avid water drinker and the mere idea is a turn off then start to replace one drink per day with a glass of water. Continue to up your water consumption and minimize your sugar, caffeine, alcohol consumption each week. It’s about incremental progress. This is also because your brain and body have gotten used to your routine. So don’t freak your body out because you’re cravings will get worse. Just slowly replace and balance. Pretty quickly you’ll find it makes a mega difference. You may even find you become a water-aholic. (It happened to me. I was a former “I hate water, it’s boring” kinda person. Now I always have a glass nearby and I love how I feel).

Energy Booster 2: Move your body gently

While I was writing this article I started to feel a bit lethargic. I felt like I had no energy.  I was having trouble focusing, keeping my eyes opened and felt like I needed a boost. So what did I do? Instead of reaching for a coffee or a candy bar, I stood up and put on some music (“The Club Can’t Handle Me Right Now” by Flo Rida, to be exact) and I shook my booty. I danced around my home office to get my heart rate up and put myself in a good mood. It took me probably less time than it would have taken if I went downstairs to grab a sugary snack or drink and I immediately felt energized. I jumped back into my writing and made quick progress.

If you work in an office where everyone is watching you, a bit of boogie at your desk may not be possible. You might have to leave the area and go for a short brisk walk for a 5-minutes instead. Getting your heart rate up makes an immediate difference. You don’t have to do much. Simply raising your arms up and thrusting them back down toward your shoulders while you breathe in and out will do the trick. Do 30 reps and you’ll feel an immediate difference. Try and take in as much and expel as much air as possible. Do it now even and you’ll feel a difference.

The important thing to remember is when it comes to energy: You get back what you generate.

If you want to increase your energy levels do more aerobic activity. Running (and not too hard, intensely enough that you could carry on a conversation), biking, swimming, yoga, these are all great activities that will amp up your energy levels versus suck them dry. This is because when you engage in aerobic fitness your body uses glycogen and fat as fuel. On the other hand, anaerobic activities – such as weight lifting, sprinting and Crossfit – are great for building muscle but they can be massive energy warping activities. When you engage in anaerobics oxygen is not present so you use glycogen as fuel. Within two hours you can deplete all your glycogen stores and you’ll hit a wall. Bottom line is: Do more aerobic activity!

Get your heart rate up, but don’t overwork your system. Many people sit at a desk all day and then kill themselves at the gym with anaerobic exercise. Instead, maximize your energy and go for a light run or brisk walk or yoga instead. Know your personal fitness goals and balance the two — aerobics and anaerobics — for best results.

Energy Booster 3: Eat a bit less and eat smart

Most people eat more than they need to. Eating is necessary and important, but what most people don’t consider is that digesting food is an energy draining activity. The more you eat during a meal, the more energy it takes to process it. Think of how tired you feel after you eat a giant meal during the holidays. When you stuff your face (which we all do, and happily, from time to time) you may quickly feel like you have no energy after the meal. All you want to do is rest. On the flip side, if you’ve ever been on a liquid cleanse you may have noticed that you had more energy. Veggies and fruits take the least amount of time to digest.

Be cognizant of the foods you eat and the amounts. Some foods take larger amounts of energy to digest than others. Protein and fat take the most time to digest. Carbs take little time but carbs that are not complex – white rice, white bread, pasta – are quick to digest but will raise your blood sugar levels which can lead to a major rise and fall in energy. As a general rule (sorry if you don’t love this idea) eat more veggies and fruits. When you eat protein eat more of it from seafood or grains like quinoa. Don’t be afraid of carbs just be smart about them. Don’t eat white carbs, eat whole grains.

Another quick tip on the food front: Eat more pickled foods like kimchi and sauerkraut. They will help you digest your food fast!

Energy Booster 4: Breathe consciously when you need an energy boost

Raise your arms to the level of your head. Pull them to your shoulders and when you do breathe out as hard as you can (snot might come out of your nose so watch out, but that’s when you know you’re doing this right). Then pump your arms back to your and inhale. Do this 30 times. Repeat the sequence until your heart is pumping.

Raising your hands and dropping them is critical because it will get your heart rate up and blood flowing. That’s what you want to have happen. You can do this anytime when you feel you have no energy. Ever been driving a far distance but you’re getting tired? Don’t stop for a coffee or soda, pull over and do this instead. Or, next time you’re working on a project and you’re feeling fatigued, try this for a quick boost.

Energy Booster 5: Be around people

Simply being in an environment near other people — like at a Starbucks — can be good for your energy levels. Positive interactions with people or even just being around people can amp up your energy massively. Your brain surges with dopamine when you make contact with other human beings. The dopamine increase is healthy. It is natural and similar to what your brain does on cocaine. Being around people packs a massive energy punch. Take a moment to think back to a time in your life with friends or family where you just had an awesome time. Think about how awesome you felt!

The important part with this energy amping rule is to be with people that are positive and not negative energy suckers. Spend time with people you like or go sit in an environment in public with strangers. If you’ve got someone to cuddle up with that’s great too. Go give your partner or kid a hug or cuddle. You’ll get a boost of oxytocin to the brain. It’s another happy energy-boosting neurochemical. If you don’t have someone around to cuddle, go get a massage. Human touch makes you feel good and energized.

Energy Amper 6: Find inspiration

What do you love to do for fun? When’s the last time you had an adventure? Go learn something new or engage in activity that’s fun for the sake of fun and has no real purpose. Lose your mind in a fun activity. If you’re really focused you’ll get in a state of flow. When you activate flow your energy levels will soar. You’re brain will flood with great new ideas.

You don’t even have to go do something to get inspired. You can simple close your eyes and daydream about a future goal you want to achieve. See yourself there and celebrating. Get into your daydream and feel how you would feel if you were there. This will give you an immediately boost of happiness and energy. And to boot, you don’t have to go anywhere. Thinking about grateful moments, or having fun or achieving awesome goals in your future will have you get excited. When you open your eyes you’ll have more energy and feel propelled to get into action.

Energy killers to limit or avoid

Life is about balance. It’s pretty tough for you to rid yourself of energy killers completely (Actually, it is next to impossible). But be cognizant of them and limit them. Balance them with the energy amping activities above and you’ll be a higher performer in all areas of your life.

  • Sugar. Get rid of sugar in your diet as much as you can. When you do eat sugar stick to natural sources like honey. Or low glycemic replacements like agave syrup. Don’t eat sugar substitutes (They are even worse!). No matter how disciplined you are around sugar, once in awhile eat that piece of cake or ice cream. Do not deprive yourself. You will be miserable.
  • Caffeine. I LOVE coffee so this one is tough for me. If you consume caffeine get it from natural sources (coffee or tea, not energy drinks). Balance your caffeine intake with plenty of water.
  • Alcohol. Same rules as caffeine apply.
  • Energy drinks and boosting substances. There are packed with sugar. If you like them, drink them in moderation. Studies show they may not be good for you.
  • Engaging in activities you hate. We all have to do things we hate sometimes (ie. reconciling company books or house cleaning) but do your best to limit these. If you HATE your job, this might be your call to action. We spend a third of our lives at work. If you hate what you do, you are robbing yourself of joy and sucking your energy dry.
  • Avoid negative people. Whether it’s friends, coworkers, neighbors or family, for the most part who you spend the majority of your time with is critical. Spend time with people that lift you up, inspire you and are good for you. Limit your exposure to negative people. Be nice to them when you are around them, but don’t be generous with the energy you spend on them. Negative people are parasites on your energy. Lots of negativity equals no energy.
  • Absorbing negative or useless information. Avoid taking in information on the Internet or TV (like the news) that has no value or is negative. It takes up useful space in your brain to think about valuable things.
  • Avoid hyper intense workouts. Multiple studies conducted on the oldest and healthiest people in the world (superagers) reveals that their physical activity is aerobic and not anaerobic. Remember that anaerobics can drain your energy. So exercise briskly, but don’t over do it.  You should be able to talk as you exercise. This will keep you in the aerobic range. Light running, brisk walking or other pulse boosting activities are ideal. They also burn fat better than anaerobic exercise.
  • Worry or stress. When you find yourself worrying or stressing about things that haven’t happened or thinking about the past too much, divert your attention. What you focus on and the thought you expend around negative stressful things will suck your energy stores dry. Your body uses glucose to think. Also, if you’re thinking negatively your cortisol level (a stress hormone) levels soars then crashes. So be cognizant of what you’re thinking about and when. Don’t let it contribute to you having no energy.

No energy equals no quality of life

Remember that the amount of energy you have equals your quality of life. So, no energy leads to lack of progress, lethargy, fatigue, lack of inspiration and ideas. When you have ample energy you become laser-focused, more productive and you feel happier. It might be worth it to apply some of the information you read in this article right away. Start small. Incremental progress and small chances overtime are the key.

How to keep going when times are tough

Visionaries, leaders and entrepreneurs often talk about the importance of being perseverant. It’s that quality that allows you to keep going when you’re in pursuit of your greatest dreams and times get tough. Many say it’s the antidote that separates the winners from the rest. But, how do you keep going when every fiber of you wants to quit sometimes? So, what do you need to keep being persist and  keep going after you’ve suffered a major failure, setback or roadblock? How to keep going when times are tough is about learning how to control your thoughts and attitude when you want to quit though your heart tells you have to keep going…

9 Tips for how to persevere so you can keep going 

1. Shift how you feel by doing something physical

When times are tough it’s easy to feel hopeless, lost, angry or sad. It’s easy to feel one or more negative emotions. And being in a negative emotional funk will not help you get in action. Being negative won’t help you move forward. So the first thing to do is go to work on YOU.

You can change how you feel with velocity (sometimes in a little time as what it takes to snap your fingers!). The fastest way to feel more powerful and to put yourself into a “I can conquer all” mindset is to get moving. Physically move and engage your body.

Go for a run. Take a cold shower. Jump up and down on a trampoline. Go lift some weights. Shake your booty or dance. Send a surge of energy through your body by moving it. It’s the fastest way to get yourself in a better mood and state of mind. Even simply doing reps of breathing, pulling your hands from the sky towards your body while you take strong breaths will help you feel better.

A secondary mood shifting technique is to use your innate powers for daydreaming. Close your eyes and daydream.Think about a time when you felt happy and really see yourself there. Think about a time or something in your life that you’re grateful for. Then, see yourself in the future achieving what you’re working towards now. See yourself winning and when you do (if there is no one around) shout “yes!”.

The more you get into your daydream (do your best to feel like you’re really there) the more you’ll feel awesome. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between actually doing something and visualizing doing something. It’s like a virtual reality trip you can take from anywhere at anytime to feel anything whenever you want.

2. Remind yourself of WHY you want to keep going

Let’s say you’re an entrepreneur and you’re on a mission to have your business be a global success. You’ve spent years working on your brand, your website, your products. You have an incredible brand but it’s not getting seen by enough people.

And so, you find yourself in a period of frustration. You become a walking cloud of doubt. In your heart, you believe in your company, but you are starting to think “maybe I should quit?”, “maybe this isn’t meant to be”. You feel lost and stuck.  These are signs you’re in the thick of a tough time.

At this point it’s critical you remind yourself WHY you’re doing what you’re doing. Keep your whys close always but especially when times gets tough. There is never one reason why  so make an exhaustive list. Keep asking yourself until you run out of reasons. It might look something like this:

My whys to keep forging ahead with this business and make it a success…

  • I want to make a global difference in my field
  • I want to love what I do every day
  • I NEVER want to work for anyone again. 
  • I want every person in this world to have the tools they need to live the life of their dreams and my business will support them.
  • I want to experience what it’s like to be a multi-millionaire and be financially free 
  • I want to build my dream home one day and live their with my beautiful family
  • I want to teach my kids how to build successful businesses
  • I want to be asked to be a keynote speaker
  • I want to experience speaking in front of thousands of people
  • I have to keep going. There is no other way. Making this business work is like breathing. 
  • I want others to see that their dreams are possible.

3. Zoom out then hyper zoom in

Once you’ve reminded yourself of what you want and why you want it you’ve done the work to globally zoom out to the bigger picture of your mission. After that, shift your focus and hyper zoom in to one task.

Choose ONE basic task you need to complete and throw yourself into it. Block out all distractions. Do your best to throw all your attention on that task. Completing that task will get you out of feeling hopeless and back into action mode.

Action produces results. Action also creates traction when you’re stuck. Action causes momentum. You’ll often find you are ready and feeling better to take the next action.

4. Just do it – Take action even when you don’t feel like it 

At any point you find yourself wondering: “how do I get myself motivated to get in action?” you’re killing your productivity potential. You are majorly slowing down your progress! You’re making a mistake that a lot of people make. You’ve collapsed action with emotion. Theses two don’t need to be aligned.

Think about it… have you ever done something that was good for you but that you didn’t necessarily feel like doing. Have you ever gotten out of bed when you didn’t want to? No way! You mean, you  put two feet on the floor even when you didn’t feel like it? You’ve also likely gone to work when you didn’t feel like it.

The thing to get is, you can feel hopeless and still take an action that would forward your life in the direction you want it to go. You don’t need to feel inspired. And, you don’t need to feel happy. You don’t even need to feel any positive emotion that would motivate you. Take action anyway.

This is the biggest ingredient of the whole perseverance puzzle. Winners just keep going even when they don’t feel like it but know it’s good for them. So keep going

5. Seek inspiration from winners who’ve failed and persevered

If you really want some motivation a great way to get it easily is by reading or watching a biography. Hearing the stories of people who have gone through what you’re going through and triumphed can give you a boost.

6. Stay in your lane

Focus on your journey, your goal, and nobody else’s. Do your best to put your blinders on and hunker down. Look ahead to your future. Forget what other people are doing or saying.

7. Go get some love from another human being

Go hug someone you love. Talk to a friend on the phone. Recreationally complain if you need to. Go to a public area and be with people. Book yourself in for a massage. The touch of another human is magically relaxing. It’ll help you ease the fears, the stress, the struggle you’re feeling. You’ll quickly learn you are not alone.

8. Applaud the small victories

Take stock of what you’ve done. Notice even the smallest of victories. Celebrate them. They are a big deal.

9. Perseverance conditioning

If you really want to hone your ability and learn how to keep going when times are tough, condition yourself to do things that are mentally and physically challenging on a regular basis. You’ll train yourself to be unstoppable in the face of the circumstances and obstacles that come your way.

Whatever source story you believe in, this is the perfect time to remind yourself that the Universe has a plan for you. You’re life is unfolding the way it should. The hardships you’re going through now will make you stronger and wiser. Keep going when the times are tough and soon you’ll be able to look back and be thankful you did.

How to fix your life when you’ve hit rock bottom

If you’re in a space with your life right now where you are feeling lost, or confused, or completely stuck, this article will help you figure out how to fix your life when you’ve hit rock bottom. It might happen once or multiple times. Most people experience one or more hit rock bottom moments over the course of their life. Free yourself with a few simple steps.

 

How to fix your life when you’ve hit rock bottom

The good news about hitting rock bottom is the only place to go is up. Especially the more rock bottom you are. Think of it this way, if you have financial issues and you file for bankruptcy there’s no worse situation you can achieve. So consider you’re in a life bankruptcy stage. There’s likely far more opportunities for you to go up right now than down at this stage of your life. Simply shifting your thinking to this realization might make you feel a tad better.

Also, consider that the more loss you suffer, the more pain you go through, the more you get to a place of nothing where you can create newly want you want for your life. The more crap you go through, the more beaten down you get by circumstances, the more mentally resilient and open you become to new opportunities.

When you’ve got nothing to lose you can create everything. The world opens up for you. This is because your mental state goes from being super rational and calculated and you just get in action. It’s a bit of a throw shit at the wall to see what sticks mentality you pick up. It’s why many of the visionaries of the world have suffered major trauma and adversity. This time in your life is a badge of honor. A new world and a better you is trying to emerge.

1. Discover, explore, decide and commit

This is the time in your life to mentally “regroup” and do some deep thinking work. It’s time to ask yourself:

What do you really, deeply want your life to be about? What do you want to achieve? What do you want to experience? From there build out what you need to do now to start taking the steps to get there.

If you have no clue or some clue of what you want start getting curious. Get googling. Research what you want. This is the perfect time to take stock. Shift your focus from what you want to change now to getting into a head space of daydreaming and imagining. When you relinquish your control of how you’d like things to go and get into a space of simply, thinking, imagining, daydreaming, that’s when inspiration and ideas about what to do next will start to formulate. Instinctively, you’ll start to know what to do.

This might sound like airy fairy advice but it’s not. Amazing things happen when you let your mind wander. It’s scientifically proven that creative connections happens when you’re not focusing on anything. Your brain goes into a mode of thinking called your Default Mode Network. This is when inspiration will strike you. Clarity will come.

When you’re inner voice or your gut or the Universe (whatever you prefer to call the pangs of intuition we all experience) strike that’s when it’s time to listen and notice. Start to start to see how you can start to take you dreams, the ideas you have for what you want in life and make them happen in reality. What are some small and simple first steps you could take to move forward.

That’s when it’s time to decide on at least one action. Then commit to taking it by scheduling the action or telling one or more people what you’re going to do. Doing this helps you create an accountability structure. It helps you take your ideas from concept to reality.

2. Build out a tangible (and basic) strategy

When you want something that you don’t have it helps to have a plan how to achieve it. Having a paln sketched out will give you a guide, direction and clarity. It will also make you feel good or excited. Because now you’ve figured out what you want and some starters actions to take to get there.

If you don’t know how to get what you want find someone you can model. Learn from people who have been there before. It’s the simplest and fastest way to figure out what to do to get what you want. What are some resources you can tap into right away?

Building an action plan is critical. A lot of people keep their ideas in their head. Capturing your ideas is important because it’s easy to lost them. When you lose direction you can always come back to a plan that’s written down.

A simple way to decide what to do is to draw a horizontal line on a piece of paper. At the end of the line write down an outcome you want to achieve. At the front of the line write down your starting point, where you are now in life. Then plot in any actions that come to mind that you can take immediately and in the near future to start progressing.

3. Take action

Once you have a vague or clear idea of the actions to take all there is for you to do is take them. Setup support structures. Schedule time frames to complete your actions. Tell people what you’re going to do. They will keep you accountable because they’ll ask you if you’ve done what you said.

Learn how to overcome fear and master your habits. These are the two major biological barriers that will get in your way of taking action. You’re physical urges are often more powerful than you’re rational mind. Train your mind to be the master.

4. Evaluate and tweak

Once you start taking action you’ll start to produce new results! Yippee! Whether the results you produce move you forward or set you back it’s good. Use the information you receive from taking action as a feedback mechanism. If what you do moves you closer to what you want then do more. If it moves you away then do less.

No matter what you do, the best advice is to: Use your adversity to your advantage. The shit you go through makes you stronger. If you use, learn from, and use personal power you gain from going through tough times you’ll be able to achieve greater success.

Having fun. Why increasing your fun will lead to a better life

Take a moment right now to think about the current level of fun you’re having in your life. Seriously, take a second to rate how much fun you’re having on scale of 1 to 10. What number did you give yourself? Need to up your fun level? Read on to learn the critical importance of having fun and why increasing your fun will lead to a better life.

Wh having fun is good for you

Having fun. Why increasing your fun will lead to a better life

Are you having too much fun, too little or,  just enough? It’s important to strike a balance. Too much fun and you won’t be productive; too little fun and your life may lack fulfillment.

And let’s clarify “fun” for the purposes of this article. True fun activities are ones that are frivolously joyful. They have no agenda. And, they are things you do for the sake of doing them. Plus, they don’t produce any other outcome but to make you laugh or smile.

Fun is not a priority for many people

Most people don’t make fun a priority, though having fun is CRUCIAL. Most people put responsibility and their survival needs first. Technically though, isn’t fun a survival need? Ever thought of it this way? Think about it, if you’re always doing what you have to do (and not necessarily want to do) you’ll suck your levels of joy and happiness dry. You’ll mentally drain yourself. The joy you experience from living your life will dwindle.

Is a life worth living if it doesn’t inspire you? Really. Take a moment to consider that question. Isn’t the entire point of life to be happy. To enjoy what you’re up to? To feel fulfilled?

Why fun is critical to happiness

Research backs up these claims. Here’s why increasing your fun will lead to a better life…

Having fun amplifies your joy and fulfillment levels

This is probably a pretty obvious result that comes from having fun.  And it’s an important one. If you ask most people what they want most in life the response is commonly: “To be happy”.  That’s the entire reason for living. Having fun raises your happy factor. It has you produce more positive emotions, the ones linked to your pleasure centers of the brain.

When you engage in fun activities that get you in a state of feeling good, your brain learns to activate the pathways that produce positive emotions faster. The more you have fun the easier it is for you to live in the positive emotional states we all crave.

Having fun increases your productivity

When you have fun you create more energy. You physically rev up your body. Most people don’t understand that, “the more energy you make the more you have”. Think about it. Simply jumping up and down for a few minutes has you feel more full of energy. So, when you have fun you can actually create more physical energy, rather than drain it (which is what activities that are not fun do tend to do).

When you have fun, your brain goes into a relaxed state called your Default Mode Network. During this state your brain makes critical connections. Creativity happens when you allow your mind to lock into it’s DMN mode versus its – neuroscience term here – Task Mode Network. This is what state it’s in when you use your rational thinking brain regions to do activities that are necessary, but aren’t exactly “fun”.

Having fun has you create miraculous things in life and business

Because you allow your brain to go into creative states when you’re having fun, naturally you bring that innovation into your life. You start to see things you haven’t before. New pathways of action become obvious. Your ability to generate ideas is more of an asset in a today’s information-packed world than it ever has been before.

Having fun builds human connection and gives you a social edge

Many fun activities will cause you to interact with other people. Being open to new people, new communities will also help you foster great friends or business relationships.

Ask yourself this question: Is it more enjoyable to be around people who you consider fun, interesting and maybe a bit quirky, or people who are all serious all the time. Being fun gives you a social edge. You bring interesting ideas to the table. If you have more fun, and become more fun by nature, people will want to be around you.

Having fun gives you existential meaning

Fun seems purposeless, but it is in having fun that you connect to yourself in deep ways. Playing connects you to life. It connects you to yourself. It’s in moments of fun where you start to see an new level of life unfold.

Real fun versus fun fallacies 

Most people don’t really know how to have fun. You’ve been conditioned by living in a world where external gratification and fast fixes are a priority. There’s a difference between fun activities that cause you to smile and be giddy just thinking about them versus fun activities that drain your energy. Some activities in your current “fun list” might even wreak havoc and get in the way of what you truly want in life.

There are also activities are fun in moderation. For instance, cooking and eating a beautiful meal with a partner is a fun activity. Food is fun in this way. However, craving and devouring large portions of food without appreciating it makes food no longer fun.

The same goes with alcohol. It’s fun to share a glass or two of wine in a social setting with friends. But there’s a fun fallacy that comes with alcohol. For instance, consuming large amounts is fun at the time, but it drains your energy and messes with your mood. Fun that has a delayed negative payoff isn’t real fun.

Real fun activities are things you do for no reason at all. Painting a picture. Kayaking out on a lake. Playing tennis. Shopping for a new outfit. Playing an instrument. Sing! Come up with a roller derby name for yourself! Learn something totally new that’s something you’ve always want to explore.

How to have more fun

Let your freak flag fly

Be silly. Really silly. Be totally weird in the comfort of your home. With yourself and with anyone you live with. Shake your booty. Start the day with dancing. You can be fun anytime. You can bring fun anywhere you go. A simple way to connect to your fun side is to think of a fun time you had. Close your eyes and bring yourself back to that moment. It will put you in an immediate mental state of fun.

Do things without a reason

When you think “this is a useless thing to do”, it’s probably fun and very useful. Having that thought is a signal that you should go explore that pointless hobby or activity. You may find that pointless activities are the most valuable uses of your time. I dare you to try it.

Connect to your kid-self for inspiration

What were you obsessed with when you were a kid? Did you love to sing? Dance? Read? Or were you one of those kids that was always on the go, running around expending energy and playing sports? Think about what you loved and start there. Go do an activity that is in line with something you used to love doing, but don’t do anymore.

Spend time around or interacting with kids or animals

This is sure to unleash your fun side. Kids and animals are often a direct line to getting into a mood of play and fun. It’s natural to them because they haven’t developed or don’t have the rational brain regions that adults have. (In other words, they don’t have a boring switch)

What can you do that is fun today? What activity can you plan that is fun to do next week. Inject some frivolous fun into your life right away and see for yourself the difference it makes. Your world might just get a bit more colorful.

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Having fun. Why increasing your fun will lead to a better life