I quit

I quit my job, built a business and never looked back – How you can too

The day I quit the last job I ever worked was, in hindsight, one of the best days of my life. I didn’t know it at the time but now having worked from home and for myself for 4 years I can tell you there is no way I’ll work for another company again. You can’t put a price on the freedom, balance and self expression that comes from creating and running your own business. It’s been tough. Becoming a entrepreneur and moving from a worker where someone tells you what to do to having to drive an enterprise you built requires a total mindset shift. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. Learn how I quit my job, built a business and never looked back and how you can too…

I quit

Should i quit? Is the entrepreneurship calling you?

I’ve always been a creator from a very young age. Always been spouting ideas and solving problems. But it took me years to get that what I believe now,  that I was meant to be an entrepreneur.

I went to college, graduated and got a corporate job like most people do. I never knew entrepreneurship was an option. Though looking back, for as long as I can remember, I had what I’d call the entrepreneurial “itch”. Maybe you’ve been feeling the same? Here’s how I felt…

When I worked for other people I would think: “you should be doing x,y,z this way”. I would get frustrated because the CEOs weren’t doing what I saw was best for the company. I always believed I had a better vision for what the company needed. I had a hard time just doing my job. I wanted to steer the ship. I hated to be controlled. I hated that I didn’t own my time. I hated that no matter how hard I worked their was a ceiling on what I was able to make financially.

Does this sound familiar? Do you hear your inner business leader self crying out while you work a 9-5 job every day?

These types of thoughts are often the first hints that building and launching your own business is what the authentic you wants and would lead to a life of more fulfillment. I truly believe that some people are better matched to be creating and running companies than working for other people. On the flip, some people are happier working without the headache of running a business. Where do you think you fall? Have you been wondering what it would be like to run your own operation? Is it time to quit your job?

What you need to know about shifting from working for a company to running your own operation – Things to consider before you say “I quit”

As an entrepreneur, your professional success rests on you

When you run your own business you control everything. This is both good and bad. When your business goes through ebbs and flows you will feel it. When you’re making tons of money you’ll be excited. You’ll feel good, you’ll be dreaming of more dollar signs. Then there are times when business isn’t booming though you’re working your tail off.

As an entrepreneur, you’ve gotta prepare for this. You have to have to techniques and tools to keep yourself in a good state of mind, a good mood. You have to be willing to eat cans of tuna sometimes as you wait for the next check to come in. Sometimes you may even have to take an odd job here or there to make some extra cash.

Many people quit their jobs and think they are going to build their first business and have it be a success in a year. This was certainly what I believed when I began and it didn’t happen. It might but more often it takes time. Make sure you have the financial ability to leave your job and start a business before you do this. You don’t want to end up with financial stress. It will ruin your ability to think strategically and create for your business.

This is why it’s incredibly important that you LOVE the business you’re building. This will keep you going when times get tough. Don’t start a business you aren’t passionate about.

You may feel lost, alone confused and totally nuts at times

Building a business requires a leadership mindset. There’s no waiting around for someone else to give you an assignment, a work project or tell you what to do. You have to come up with that yourself. In the beginning this may scare the crap out of you. You may find yourself feeling lost and thinking “am I doing what I should be?”.

Building a business can feel kind of like throwing darts at a dartboard in a dark room. There are times where you’ll be confident as to where the board is and that you’re going to hit the bullseye. Other times you’ll be throwing darts and thinking “what the heck am I doing? How was this ever a good idea?”

Working from home can be an adjustment

If you’re making a move from working in an office to working from home, in the beginning it can be a tough transition. You may go from loving that you can work in your pjs and that you don’t have to sit in traffic to hating the lack of human contact. It’s different for everyone. If your work fulfilled part of your needs for social interaction you’ll certainly need to look for new ways to get that.

When you work from home it’s incredibly important to have strategies to maintain your motivation. Remember, you don’t have to sit at your desk from 9-5. When you work from home you can stop and go for a 30-minute run to get your mood up if you need to. Do what you need to to stay excited about your work. Don’t feel bad if you need to take a nap mid-day or go for lunch with a friend. You’ve been conditioned to work from 9-5 with a one hour lunch break so you may feel guilty if you start to do things other than that. But that is one major perk of running your own business. You set your schedule. So, do what you gotta do to keep yourself motivated and fulfill on what your business needs.

Where to start if you’re working for a company but you want to transition to running a business 

Do you know what type of business you’d like to start? Depending where you’re at, the best thing to do while you’re working for someone else is to train yourself, research your options and learn about your marketplace. Slowly start to build a concept and build your skills. Do this while you have the financial stability of a job.

Start training right away in the primary skills you need to be a successful entrepreneur. While you may need specialized skills depending on your industry, all entrepreneurs need to have the following skills to make it. They are:

Digital marketing – you need to know how to create and sell online. You need to understand why you need a website and how to built a strategic one. You need to understand why you need social media and email marketing and how they work. You need to have technical know-how. The better you at in digital marketing the more quickly you can advance and achieve success.

When I quit my full-time job I went to work for a digital marketing agency so I could learn how to sell online. This was the best thing I ever did for my business career.

Copywriting – you need to know how to write. All businesses need to communicate their offerings to their market. More and more this done primarily online. You need to know how to write great content from blogs to the content on your web site, to landing pages and emails. If you don’t know how to write effectively and with influence, you need to train yourself.

In-person communication skills – you still need to be a people magnet. While most business interactions are done online these days it helps to have great people skills. Learn how to be likable. You will get ahead in all areas of your life.

Techniques for managing your own well-being and mood – this is super important and often overlooked. Many entrepreneurs fail because they can’t stay motivated, or don’t know how to deal with failure, or hate the loneliness of working from home. The best way to train yourself to be an incredible entrepreneur is to acquire mental toughness training. Learn how to overcome your fears. Deal with your personal barriers. Whatever blocks you have will come up when you try and build a bring a business to the world.

Whether you work for a company or have started to build your own business, you can start today in training yourself in these skills. It helps to schedule training to time to learn new skills.

If this article didn’t scare you and you’re still aching to start your own business, what you need to know that this way of life is fast becoming a necessity. Automated systems are fast replacing the middle class. Soon you won’t be able to get a degree and a job like you used to because no one will need you.

So need yourself! Build a incredible business that solves a problem in this world. The world needs you.

I hate my life

I hate my life – How to free yourself when you feel this way

Have you been thinking “I hate my life” right now? Take a moment to to first breathe and know that you’re not alone. 100% of people will have this thought at least once in their life. That doesn’t mean that feeling this way doesn’t suck. This is especially true when that thought seems to stick around for a long time. You’re in the right place. If you’ve been thinking “I hate my life”, here’s how to free yourself when you feel this way…

I hate my life

Why you’re having “I hate my life” thoughts

The first question to ask yourself is: Do you hate all aspects of your life? Or, is it just one aspect or a few? It’s important you first pinpoint what you hate. Do you hate your body? Do you hate your job? Or, do you hate the environment where you live? Is there anything you do love and want to salvage and keep? Or, do you feel like your life needs a complete overhaul?

If you’re having I hate my life thoughts the first thing to do is GET SPECIFIC on what exactly it is about your life that you hate. Noticing that you hate your life, and specifically what exactly you hate about it, is the first step to making serious, lasting changes. It can feel terrible to notice that you hate one or more aspects of your life. Still, the good news is that this is the first step to turning things around for the better. All change starts with the realization that change needs to happen. When you have “I hate my life” thoughts, it’s a sign you need to listen to you and make some serious changes. The sooner you make changes the sooner you’ll feel better. This doesn’t mean doing anything drastic. Sometimes taking very simple actions can improve the quality of your life almost immediately.

Get specific. This is critical because it’s easy to let the hatred of one area of your life color all areas. For instance, if you hate your body, the negative thoughts around your body might be coloring how you experience your relationships. It’s important to separate your life into components. Get clear on what you love and what you hate before you do anything else.

Get to the root of what’s causing your discomfort 

After you pinpoint the area or areas you hate about your life ask yourself WHY. Why do you hate this area or areas?

Then, reflect on what you do want. Get specific on that too. Because once you have an idea about what you do want then you can ask yourself the most important question: What’s preventing me from having what I want? The reasons you come up with are really what’s stopping you. Those are the things to go to work on.  You can either go to work on solving your reasons or work on changing your mindset around that reason so the reason loses it’s value.

For instance, if you hate your body and the reason you don’t have what you want is that you hate exercise, then you know you need to find a way to enjoy exercise. Or, you need to work on shifting your beliefs around exercise. If your challenge is that your business isn’t successful, and what’s in the way is a lack of time, then you need to go to work on new ways to manage your time. Or, you need to optimize your businesses processes in a new way.

Either way, whenever you’re thinking “I hate my life” there are only two variables in the way of you being able to say “I love my life”: 1) You’re missing a piece of KNOWLEDGE and you don’t know what to do or, 2) You haven’t taken the right ACTION. So ask yourself, what’s missing? Do you not know what to do? Or do you need to come up with a new strategy (new actions) to get you what you want?

Switch things up

The simplest way to start to improve your life and gain momentum is to do something new. Take a new action. Try a new technique, a new approach. Go learn something new about the area you’re struggling with. This will help you to start thinking differently and seeing things differently. If you hate your body and you know you need to eat better or exercise more, a place to start might be to explore new forms of fitness or different foods. Take at least one simple and new action. This will help you start to gain traction in the area or areas of life that you hate right now.

Here’s the other challenge most people are met with…you think you need to feel like doing something to do it. This is a big misconception and it stops you from getting what you want. You don’t need to feel like taking an action that’s good for you to take that action. Think about it, have you ever been woken up by your alarm clock and not wanted to get out of bed but you put your feet on the floor and stood up anyway?  You don’t need to feel like taking action to take the action. This is a concept to commit to memory. Sometimes an action is good for you and your life but doesn’t necessarily feel that way. You don’t need to be motivated to take action, you can take action regardless.

Beware of overusing external remedies to fix your life

Most people have been conditioned to use means of external gratification to solve problems. This can be a problem as it can cause you more long term pain than pleasure. For instance, you’re unsatisfied with your relationship but instead of dealing with your feelings or talking it out you turn to food. Or to destress after a day at a job you don’t love, you tune out of life by throwing yourself into tv and drinking half a bottle of wine. Sometimes you need to eat that piece of cake or drink some wine or watch a show but sometimes you start to use external forces as crutches. All things are good in moderation but they can also develop into bad habits.  For instance, if you turn to food when you’re stressed you might incur long term health issues.

If you feel yourself getting out of balance and looking outward for external fixes to your life challenges it’s a clue you need to start taking some new actions. It’s a clue you are feeling unsatisfied. You need to take a new action and you also may need to develop some new and more positive habits to replace the ones that aren’t good for you. What habits are not serving you in the long-term? How could you replace them with better habits?

Remember that the future you’re living into is everything

What makes you feel happy now is the future you’re heading into. Think about it. If you’re heading on a trip to Jamaica for two weeks and you’re leaving tomorrow, today you’ll feel pretty excited. What this means is if you’re looking ahead to your future and seeing more of what you hate now, you will feel terrible about your life. You’ll gain immediate power when you decide what you want to achieve in the near future. Then, take at least one simple action to move towards that future.

Lastly, it’s up to you

If you are saying to yourself “I hate my life” or “I love my life” the question is…who is the “I” in that statement? It’s you. You are the only person that can ultimately decide what you want in life and what you are willing to do to get it. It’s up to you. No one can live your life for you. The power to have what you want rests on your shoulders. And it’s 100% possible. You can have your dream life. You can turn the tables from hating your life to loving it quickly but you have to decide you want to and commit to it. Commit to your happiness. You can do that by following the guidance in this article. Here’s a recap:

  1. Pinpoint the area or areas you’re dissatisfied with and GET SPECIFIC on what it is you hate
  2. Consider what you DO WANT and WHY you want it
  3. Ask yourself what’s preventing you from getting it
  4. Learn or take new actions to forward what you do want. Start with one simple action. Incremental progress is key

So, you got this. Your dream life is not as far as it may seem. It’s time to start loving your life. Soon your “I hate my life” thoughts will be a distant memory.

Related articles, for people who hate their lives

Asking questions that make you think in new ways will improve your life

Asking questions that make you think in new ways will improve your life

 

You and I – all people – are curious by nature. It’s our goal in life to understand, to make meaning of our life and of our world. We are born to ask questions. In the beginning it’s critical. The questions we ask help us learn. Think back to when you were a child. Or if you have young children, it’s probably easy to think about a question they recently asked you. Children ask questions incessantly. Why is the sky blue? Why are you putting that there? What are you doing? How come? Children around 4 years old ask upwards of 400 questions a day. By age 6 that number diminishes by half and even less by age 10. You ask questions too but as an adult your questioning has likely diminishing. And questions are important because asking questions that make you think in new ways will improve your life.

Asking questions that make you think in new ways will improve your life

Asking questions that make you think in new ways will improve your life

As an adult your questioning has likely become much more internal. And it diminishes because most of us stop learning as rapidly as we did as a kid. We ask less questions out loud because we want to seem superior or like we “have it all together”. Asking questions in the workplace, for instance, may cast you as uninformed or unintelligent. Too many “whys” and you are liable to really piss someone off.

It happens at a young age, that we’re conditioned to stop asking questions and just follow the rules. Our institution teach our children, our employees, our co-workers, to do what is asked. Questioning is a skill. And without nurturing it becomes like a lost art. Your brain shuts down on it’s curiosity levels. But questions are critical. Asking questions helps you figure out what matters. It can help you see where opportunity lies and to clearly define it. It can help you be resourceful. It helps you see new actions to take. Asking the right question – thoes questions that make you think in new ways – internally or to someone else can be a game changer.

Nurturing your curiosity is critical

Being curious is an active state. If I told you to take on being curious today, you’d like know how to do that. Naturally, you’d start examining your world. Asking more questions. Maybe questions that make you think in new ways. Curiosity is a state to hone. It has you stop doing on autopilot. Start asking “why am I doing this?“. Start asking “is the the smartest way to do this?”. Or, you could ask “Is this serving me?”. When you’re inquisitive it serves you as you start to truly become the creator of your life instead of going through the motions.

You are naturally curious you are likely to wonder and examine how things were created, processed, developed and more. But you have to tune in, to use your innate skill daily so you hone it versus lose it.

Curiosity allows you to be constantly surprised. Imagine if you looked at each day with new eyes as if it had something positive to teach you at every moment. Perhaps, the world could be a pretty incredible place if you looked at it from a place of awe and wonder. Each person you interact with, every situation you are in could present an opportunity to learn something new, or experience something entirely different. Most people repeat each day the same way over and over. Do you tend to get up and think the same thoughts? Do you engage in the the same morning routine? Do you take the same route to the same job? Do you interact with the same people who say the same things?

All people are habitual creatures which can be a really great thing until, it’s not. When we get into a routine of sameness we stop seeing the newness that exists. We stop using the art of curiosity. The what ifs, the why, the maybes and the hows.

How to ask more powerful questions

Take this on this week: Practice asking questions. Practice using your curiosity skills. Bring curiosity to your life. See how asking questions that make you think in new ways will start to change the quality of your life. Repetition is the mother of all skill so the only necessary part of this is to start and to become aware of your current abilities.To start, you may notice you ask yourself some questions but they tend to be in your head. Or that they may be still somewhat unconscious but they are there. What you may notice is you may ask things like:

Why do I have to do this?

How long is this going to take?

Why do I have to be here?

Why is there so much traffic?

Why is this so hard?

Do these sound familiar? Consider what kind of response you would give yourself to those questions? Do you think it would help you to be more or less successful?

Questions are incredibly powerful as they have the ability to directly determine your life experience. When you ask yourself a question from the above list will likely keep you stuck or limit your ability to come up with a better experience. The questions above are disempowering. They would not improve the quality of your life. You want to ask questions that make you think in different and new ways.

So ask yourselves empowering questions. This is where you will achieve the greatest shift in your current life experience. That may sound like a great story but by asking yourself empowering questions you will reshape your mind your daily actions and interactions. So how the heck do you get started? Get curious!

For example before you go to bed you may ask yourself how can I make this the most incredible day tomorrow? You may hear yourself answer, “I can’t it will suck“. If that is the case try again. Perhaps you might ask: If I were to make it the most incredible day what would I need to do? You may begin to write a list of those things you need to do. You may find your mind wanting to come up with reasons why you can’t do those things. Therefore the next great and powerful question could be: Who do I need to be to get those things done?

Most people ask themselves one question, come up short with the answer and become defeated. Questions are limitless, which means the possibilities we can create for ourselves are also limitless. Which means the life we can experience can also be limitless. What if that were true? What if literally anything was possible? Consider the possibilities of your life through a great question and you might begin to create a great new story, to move your life in ways you never thought were possible before.

 

how to get a life that inspires you

How to get a life that inspires you

 

Take a moment right now to take stock of your current life. Are you inspired? Does every aspect of your life align with what you authentically want and value? Do you wake up most days and think: “Pinch me! Is this really my life?”. Or have you been feeling a little less enthused or frustrated with one or more aspects of your life lately? Read on to learn how to get a life that inspires you and how to start the journey today.

how to get a life that inspires you

How to get a life that inspires you

Most people are conditioned to believe they need to achieve things to be successful. That the job will make them happy. Or the relationship. Or more money. Most people learn to be externally gratified. It’s ingrained in our culture. We learn to feel good about ourselves when we receive external gratification and this happens from a very young age. We feel happy with ourselves when we achieve the A+ grade. Or because we have a certain brand of clothing. Or because we look a certain way, or live in a specific area.

Thinking this way will certainly land you into a life that may look “successful” but isn’t fulfilling. It’s possible to be successful and not fulfilled. This happens when you’re focused on what you need to achieve and not from a place of considering: “What do I want to EXPERIENCE in my life?”

Being fulfilled is an emotional experience. So the best way to build a life that inspires you, one that you love, is to consider what you want from an experiential level versus thinking using your rational mind. Before you go after what you think you want, you want to shut down your rational thinking process (your left brain thinking) and tune into your emotional side (your right brain thinking).

What you can do today to move closer to your dream life…

Step 1: Decide what you want using your right brain thinking processes and your emotions to guide you

The key to building a life you love is to key into your deep desires and passions, and once again, to think from an emotional level by asking the question: “What do I want to experience?”

You can turn your rational thinking processes down by daydreaming. Imagine what you want in all areas of your life. Take some quiet time to think by yourself. Ask yourself “What do I want to experience in my career?…relationships?…physical health?… And then, daydream about what you want. Step into what you think you’d like to experience in your mind. Start to build a framework. Really try to feel what it would be like to be in your future, experiencing what you want.

You’ll get excited. You’ll get moved deeply. You’ll feel emotionally ignited when you start to build a future that inspires you. When you feel excited and moved by something you imagine it’s a signal that this is something you’d really like to experience and a goal you should move towards.

Here’s the incredible thing about visualizing: Your brain doesn’t know the difference between you imagining doing something and actually physically doing it! This means, you could take a bite of a juicy orange fresh from a tree or imagine it and you would salivate. Your brain goes through the same mental processes.

So, seeing a future you want is the first step to deciding what you really want. Once you know in your heart what excites you and a goal you want to move towards then you can do the next most important step.

Step 2: Get rational and realistic about where you are and what you need to do next

Once you’ve imagined and explored what you want (in as specific terms as possible) and you’ve decided on what it is, then you need to get realistic about it. When you think rationally, you’ll pull your left brain thinking processes back into the picture. This is an important part of the process because now you start to see how your dreams could be realized in reality.

At this point, it’s time to consider where you’d like to be in the near future – the goals you’d like to achieve – and contrast it with where you are now. It’s important to evaluate where you are and where you’d like to get to using measurable and specific variables.

For instance, let’s say you want to lose 15 lbs in three months. If you’re 200 lbs now, then within 15 lbs to have met your goal you’d be 185 lbs. Once you have measurements you’ll need to ask yourself: “What structures do I need to put in to realize this goal?”

In this case, perhaps you’d need to enroll in a fitness class or learn new ways to eat.Consider what you need and schedule in times to take the actions that will get you the result you want.

Creating a structure – planning, scheduling work – is critical to achieving what you want with velocity. So write your thoughts down. Start to build a framework. Set aside a bit of time (30 minutes is really all you need) of quiet time to plan and review your plan each week.

Step 3: Take action

Do you spend more time thinking about what you want to achieve or taking the actions to actually get it? Most people get too caught up in introspection – thinking about what they might want or what happened in the past – versus getting into action.

Remember that actions = results. No action = no results!

Once you start taking action towards your dreams – even if it’s a very minor action – you’ll start to get excited and feel amazing. At that point, you’ll feel more energized and compelled to take more actions.

Taking action is also the fastest way to know if your plan works. Are you doing the right things to get what you want or do you need to change it up? It’s also important that you notice what you’re doing and if it’s working or not. A great strategy always involves reviewing and tweaking. Use action as a metric to rate your progress.

Step 4: Be persistent, stay committed and keep your “eye on the prize”

How do you be persistent? Well, it’s starts with deeply wanting your dream. When you know to 100% that you want to achieve a dream, to experience an aspect of your life in a specific way then it’ll be harder for you not to go after your dream. You’ll feel compelled. Anytime you consider quitting you’ll get more determined.

When you’re working towards achieving a dream and you’re in the process of building, it’s most important you keep yourself motivated by focusing daily on the outcomes you’re committed to achieving. What is it that you want? More importantly, WHY do you want it? What’s the reason you’re doing all this?

It helps to create a “Why List”. Write down all the reasons you want what you want. Make it exhaustive. Do this at the beginning when you decide you want something. Anytime you don’t feel motivated you can go back to your list. You can remind yourself of why you are doing what you’re doing. This will help fuel you into action. It will help you stay focused and committed.

Let’s say you’re working to get a startup off the ground and that the potential of the startup will make a difference for the world and make you millions. But let’s say you find yourself one day feeling really negative about everything you’re day. Maybe you’ve been working on this start up for three years. Maybe you’re uncertain it will ever go the way you want. Well, in that moment it’s critical you reflect on why you’re doing what you’re doing.

What are the reasons you want what you want? Maybe you want millions so you can build a family or be involved in more projects that change the world. Maybe at the point you’re at, you simply like money so you can afford a better way of life? Consider all the whys. Make an exhaustive list. This will help you stay motivated.

We are meant to be inspired by our lives. We are meant to make a difference. We are meant to contribute. Realizing all this starts with you. It’s starts with you being fulfilled. It starts with you saying: “That’s it. I’m living this life and putting my fulfillment first.”

Being inspired is what life’s all about. If you’re not fulfilled or working towards what you want you’re stagnating. Remember that progress = happiness. When you’re moving towards what you want you’ll feel invigorated and fulfilled. Start today. Getting a life that inspires you starts now and it starts with you.

The first action might be just to do Step 1 of this list. Then, keep going. You got this. And your dreams are possible.

How to overcome self limiting beliefs

 

 

Do you ever wonder if you have two personalities? First there’s the confident, positive, driven you. Then, there’s the you that tells you you’re not enough. That you’re never going to figure it out. That you’re not loved or worthy. If you shared what is in your head about yourself right now, what would you say? Go ahead, write it down. Get it out of your head and put it on a piece of paper. Look at what you wrote. Would you say what you wrote down about yourself is limiting you? If you answered yes to that question then the good news is you are here and you’re about to learn how to overcome self limiting beliefs.

But first, what you wrote down, is that the truth? My guess is, that if you are reading this right now you might be saying something that isn’t that kind about yourself. Maybe what’s in your head is actually quite negative and when you finally wrote it down, you looked at it and felt like crap about it or had a moment of “whoa, I actually think that?” . Maybe you’ve revealed something to yourself that often goes overlooked and on autopilot.

Whoa, that’s deep right?! The first time you become aware of your own self limiting beliefs it can be tough to process. Afterall who would want to say outloud to any other human being: “I am not enough”, or “I don’t feel loved”. Truth is you’re not the only one. You’re human and 100% of us have these thoughts from time to time.  Though, some people have these thoughts more frequently than others. Unfortunately, most people never learn that they can tame them. You can control and overcome self limiting beliefs. Read on to learn how.

 

How to overcome self limiting beliefs

Why you feel this way

Self limiting beliefs are created slowly and repetitively over time. Over the course of our lives we all experience moments of pain or pleasure that get ingrained in our nervous system. When those moments happen we make them mean something, we add language to them. For instance, you raise your hand to speak at a work meeting and your idea gets made into a company joke. Your brain might record this moment as a painful experience. You might make it mean that you’re an idiot and you should make sure you’re more prepared with what you say before you share your ideas. You might come to believe that you should never share ideas off the cuff, or that you aren’t smart. This is how a belief system gets formed. And guess what’s crazy, you created it. Your internal self merged with your external world and boom. You learned something and it turned into a belief.

Self limiting beliefs are nothing more than rules or commands to our nervous system about how we are going to respond, they shape our thoughts and create a filter on our reality. Beliefs shape your daily experience whether you’re cognizant of that or not. What beliefs do you have that you see might by assumptions about yourself, about others, about the world? You use beliefs to help you understand the world around you. They help you feel certain about your future, make you feel safe and secure. We all crave a sense of certainty. When we are certain we can typically feel a sense of peace, calm, allowing us to either reduce or increase stress we have about a person or thing.

And here’s the kicker: You create your belief systems. Your beliefs about yourself and the world around are shaped during your childhood. You learn what to believe from all your experiences, and from role models. These beliefs are so ingrained that we think them sometimes without really questioning why we think them or where they originally came from. That means, you might be limiting yourself and no knowing it. So it’s critical you start to tune in, to notice your thoughts and to ask: Is this belief serving me or is it a self limiting belief?

The other crazy part about self limiting beliefs is we anchor them into our bodies. A song comes up, a word is said, and boom, our brain attaches to a memory and draws out an emotion that’s consistent with it. And that memory triggers us in a present totally unrelated moment. So the question becomes: How do you take control? How do you overcome your self limiting beliefs?

Awareness is always the first step

Our thoughts, patterns, behaviors and belief systems serve us at different points of time. Maybe for some period of time a belief you hold has worked for you and now it no longer does. Once you start to become aware of your thinking you can make more conscious choices. You can then assess whether what you’ve been doing, thinking or feeling truly works for you!

Beliefs are not facts. You have the power to change them. It might be time to do an audit on what you belief. Consider these questions about some of the beliefs you hold to be true….

  • What is great about this belief?
  • What are the negative consequences that are associated with me having this belief?
  • What have I missed out on by having this belief, who have I affected?
  • Where has it limited me in my life?
  • What are the labels you’ve given yourself because you think or feel this way?
  • What expectations have you set for others based on your belief?
  • What value am I gaining by holding onto this belief?
  • What good intention does this or did this belief provide me with?

Remember that when you created this limiting belief consciously or unconsciously you did it with good intentions. The question is does it still serve you or is it a self limiting belief? What new belief could you take on?

See the Big Picture

Let’s take this a step further, now that you have assessed the value and or challenges of a belief add more senses to it. Visualize how the belief has impacted your life.

  • How do you picture it in your mind?
  • What emotions do you feel when you imagine it to be true?
  • What does it look like?
  • What does it sound like?
  • Is there a smell or feeling attached to this belief?
  • Does it have a taste?

Open your eyes and write it all down. You may have noticed that visualizing makes your beliefs more intense, more vivid.

Now the ultimate question…

Do you want to change this belief?

Changing anything in our lives starts with a decision. That decision for things to be different than they have been in any other moment before this. From that decision we have to commit to what is necessary to change and take action to ensure things are different. In order to do that ask yourself these questions. If the following were true how would you act differently?

If you believed responsibility for this change rests in your hands, what would you do?

If you believed change happens instantly when you commit, what would you do?

If you believed things must change now, what action would you take immediately?

Choose your ritual

Before you move to believing a new more empowering belief, you have to toss the old self limiting beliefs away! The way you choose to do this is up to you. Burn it. Write it down and throw it away! Or, say your self limiting beliefs out loud to a friend and yell out how it’s such BS. The time for that belief to be ruling your life in any form is over!!

Step up and build your new belief

Now we get to step up into our new empowering beliefs. Here is where you can consider: Who do you really want to be? What do you desperately want to achieve in your life?

Consider your ultimate outcome for yourself, write it out in full.

  • What would you need to believe about yourself in order to achieve this?
  • What would you say, what would you think or focus on when you were challenged as this new version of you?
  • What are things you can do to condition this new empowering belief?
  • What actions can you take right now to strengthen this belief?
  • Is there any roles models you want to align with?
  • Is their a quote or tagline you want to create for yourself to ingrain this new belief in your mind?

Remember your old beliefs were built one strand at a time. Building new beliefs is like building a muscle. Transformation is a process, the level of pain we endure is somewhat up to us. Just as this self limiting belief wasn’t made overnight you may notice it wanting to creep back in. So we repeat the pattern of breaking this belief over and over until it is completely annihilated from our body and minds. If this old belief creeps back in try approaching it with curiosity. Why did it show up? What triggered it? 

Pay attention to your thoughts. It may not feel as comfortable to have this new belief as it did with your old self limiting belief. It’s like a new pair of shoes, it takes time to adjust. Be your own observer, watch what works for you and what doesn’t. Monitoring and altering your thoughts is a major step in getting what you want in life.