I quit

I quit my job, built a business and never looked back – How you can too

The day I quit the last job I ever worked was, in hindsight, one of the best days of my life. I didn’t know it at the time but now having worked from home and for myself for 4 years I can tell you there is no way I’ll work for another company again. You can’t put a price on the freedom, balance and self expression that comes from creating and running your own business. It’s been tough. Becoming an entrepreneur and moving from a worker where someone tells you what to do to having to drive an enterprise you built requires a total mindset shift. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. Learn how I quit my job, built a business and never looked back and how you can too…

I quit

Should I quit? Is entrepreneurship calling you?

I’ve always been a creator from a very young age. Always been spouting ideas and solving problems. But it took me years to get that what I believe now,  that I was meant to be an entrepreneur.

I went to college, graduated and got a corporate job like most people do. I never knew entrepreneurship was an option. Though looking back, for as long as I can remember, I had what I’d call the entrepreneurial “itch”. Maybe you’ve been feeling the same? Here’s how I felt…

When I worked for other people I would think: “you should be doing x,y,z this way”. I would get frustrated because the CEOs weren’t doing what I saw was best for the company. I always believed I had a better vision for what the company needed. I had a hard time just doing my job. I wanted to steer the ship. I hated to be controlled. I hated that I didn’t own my time. I hated that no matter how hard I worked their was a ceiling on what I was able to make financially.

Does this sound familiar? Do you hear your inner business leader self crying out while you work a 9-5 job every day?

These types of thoughts are often the first hints that building and launching your own business is what the authentic you wants and would lead to a life of more fulfillment. I truly believe that some people are better matched to be creating and running companies than working for other people. On the flip, some people are happier working without the headache of running a business. Where do you think you fall? Have you been wondering what it would be like to run your own operation? Is it time to quit your job?

What you need to know about shifting from working for a company to running your own operation – Things to consider before you say “I quit”

As an entrepreneur, your professional success rests on you

When you run your own business you control everything. This is both good and bad. When your business goes through ebbs and flows you will feel it. When you finally have money and are wealthy you’ll be excited. You’ll feel good, you’ll be dreaming of more dollar signs. Then there are times when business isn’t booming though you’re working your tail off.

As an entrepreneur, you’ve gotta prepare for this. You have to have to techniques and tools to keep yourself in a good state of mind, a good mood. You have to be willing to eat cans of tuna sometimes as you wait for the next check to come in. Sometimes you may even have to take an odd job here or there to make some extra cash.

Many people quit their jobs and think they are going to build their first business and have it be a success in a year. This was certainly what I believed when I began and it didn’t happen. It might but more often it takes time. Make sure you have the financial ability to leave your job and start a business before you do this. You don’t want to end up with financial stress. It will ruin your ability to think strategically and create for your business.

This is why it’s incredibly important that you LOVE the business you’re building. This will keep you going when times get tough. Don’t start a business you aren’t passionate about.

You may feel lost, alone confused and totally nuts at times

Building a business requires a leadership mindset. There’s no waiting around for someone else to give you an assignment, a work project or tell you what to do. You have to come up with that yourself. In the beginning this may scare the crap out of you. You may find yourself feeling lost and thinking “am I doing what I should be?”.

Building a business can feel kind of like throwing darts at a dartboard in a dark room. There are times where you’ll be confident as to where the board is and that you’re going to hit the bullseye. Other times you’ll be throwing darts and thinking “what the heck am I doing? How was this ever a good idea?”

Working from home can be an adjustment

If you’re making a move from working in an office to working from home, in the beginning it can be a tough transition. You may go from loving that you can work in your pjs and that you don’t have to sit in traffic to hating the lack of human contact. It’s different for everyone. If your work fulfilled part of your needs for social interaction you’ll certainly need to look for new ways to get that.

When you work from home it’s incredibly important to have strategies to maintain your motivation. Remember, you don’t have to sit at your desk from 9-5. When you work from home you can stop and go for a 30-minute run to get your mood up if you need to. Do what you need to to stay excited about your work. Don’t feel bad if you need to take a nap mid-day or go for lunch with a friend. You’ve been conditioned to work from 9-5 with a one hour lunch break so you may feel guilty if you start to do things other than that. But that is one major perk of running your own business. You set your schedule. So, do what you gotta do to keep yourself motivated and fulfill on what your business needs.

Where to start if you’re working for a company but you want to transition to running a business 

Do you know what type of business you’d like to start? Depending where you’re at, the best thing to do while you’re working for someone else is to train yourself, research your options and learn about your marketplace. Slowly start to build a concept and build your skills. Do this while you have the financial stability of a job.

Start training right away in the primary skills you need to be a successful entrepreneur. While you may need specialized skills depending on your industry, all entrepreneurs need to have the following skills to make it. They are:

Digital marketing – you need to know how to create and sell online. You need to understand why you need a website and how to built a strategic one. You need to understand why you need social media and email marketing and how they work. You need to have technical know-how. The better you at in digital marketing the more quickly you can advance and achieve success.

When I quit my full-time job I went to work for a digital marketing agency so I could learn how to sell online. This was the best thing I ever did for my business career.

Copywriting – you need to know how to write. All businesses need to communicate their offerings to their market. More and more this done primarily online. You need to know how to write great content from blogs to the content on your web site, to landing pages and emails. If you don’t know how to write effectively and with influence, you need to train yourself.

In-person communication skills – you still need to be a people magnet. While most business interactions are done online these days it helps to have great people skills. Learn how to be likable. You will get ahead in all areas of your life.

Techniques for managing your own well-being and mood – this is super important and often overlooked. Many entrepreneurs fail because they can’t stay motivated, or don’t know how to deal with failure, or hate the loneliness of working from home. The best way to train yourself to be an incredible entrepreneur is to acquire mental toughness training. Learn how to overcome your fears. Deal with your personal barriers. Whatever blocks you have will come up when you try and build a bring a business to the world.

Whether you work for a company or have started to build your own business, you can start today in training yourself in these skills. It helps to schedule training to time to learn new skills.

If this article didn’t scare you and you’re still aching to start your own business, what you need to know that this way of life is fast becoming a necessity. Automated systems are fast replacing the middle class. Soon you won’t be able to get a degree and a job like you used to because no one will need you.

So need yourself! Build a incredible business that solves a problem in this world. The world needs you.

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to amp it up

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to amp it up

Suffering from no energy? Feel tapped out? Exhausted? Sluggish? At the end of the day do you want to just sack out on the couch.

You may be super inspired to get more done, move your life forward and start a business, write a book, renovate your home or volunteer your time. Most people have at least one key project that they want to get done, but there is a often one thing in the way to getting it done.

Think of one major accomplishment you’d like to achieve in the near future? Got it?

What do you think is in the way? What’s the number one reason you have for why you don’t have what you want? Is it… Time? Money? Willpower? There is one sneaky culprit that most people never consider. And this one affects all the other variables. The most common big, bad, dream-killing culprit is: No energy.

At the end of the day, you probably don’t have any reserves to take that next step, get in action and get your pet project started.

Low energy, or no energy is the culprit

Most people are just tapped out. They don’t have the energy to start one more task, even if they are inspired to get it done. Low energy, or no energy is the culprit.

Energy is your baseline. It’s a critical force, such that if lost all your energy, you’d have nothing. You’ll understand this if you’ve ever been acutely or chronically sick…or cared for someone in that condition.

When you operate your life on no energy, your ability to get things done is seriously hampered. You don’t want to work. Your thinking becomes foggy. It’s hard to focus. You may even want to avoid other people when you’re energetically tapped out. That’s energy loss at its worst.

However, most people take their energy stores for granted. They don’t realize they are operating  with very low energy. In fact, most people use energy boosting substances to try to charge themselves up to generate more energy. Things like: Caffeine, sugar, or in some cases pharmaceuticals or narcotics.

It’s not your fault if you fall into that camp. Most of us use artificial stimulants like caffeine or sugar.  We don’t have the facts straight on the best ways to amp up our energy stores. Here’s why: Few people are properly educated on how to feel more energized.

How to get your energy back

Read on and you’ll learn some very simple ways to up amp up your energy levels. You’ll see how you can get more done, and feel one thousand times better in body, mind and spirit.

What does that means for your life? Perhaps, an extra couple hours at the end of your work day to jump into that project you’ve been thinking about, but you’ve been too tired to put into action. Or more energy might simply heighten your level of thinking and focus so you can perform better in all areas of your life.  When you feel energetically awesome, you really become unstoppable.

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to boost energy stores

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to amp it up

Energy Booster 1: Drink more water

Your body is made up of 75% water. You have 75% water in your muscles. Your bones are 25% water. Water is a life sustaining solvent. It regulates the functions of all your systems.

If you feel like you have no energy one of the simplest energy boosters is to drink more water. You’ve likely been told that before. Are you doing it? If not, what’s in the way for you? If you hate the taste, inject your water with fruit or citrus. Make it interesting. As a general rule you should be drinking 4 pints, or about 2 litres, of water per day. If you drink a lot of juice, coffee or soda you’ll need to drink even more. Sugary drinks or caffeinated beverages are energy suckers. You’ll also want to cut back on caffeine, sugar and alcohol. These can be hard to do, but it’s rewarding if you can make small to moderate changes.

Here’s what happens when you consume sugar, caffeine or alcohol: You’ll get a surge in energy from your glucose levels spiking and dopamine (a happy brain chemical) flooding your brain. The surge will bring you high and then drop you really low. Your body will react by feeling even less energized and craving more sugar, caffeine or alcohol.

No 1 energy booster is water

Water is a major energy booster. Infuse it with fruit to make it interesting

When it comes to drinking more water it’s about balance and conditioning. If you’re not an avid water drinker and the mere idea is a turn off then start to replace one drink per day with a glass of water. Continue to up your water consumption and minimize your sugar, caffeine, alcohol consumption each week. It’s about incremental progress. This is also because your brain and body have gotten used to your routine. So don’t freak your body out because you’re cravings will get worse. Just slowly replace and balance. Pretty quickly you’ll find it makes a mega difference. You may even find you become a water-aholic. (It happened to me. I was a former “I hate water, it’s boring” kinda person. Now I always have a glass nearby and I love how I feel).

Energy Booster 2: Move your body gently

While I was writing this article I started to feel a bit lethargic. I felt like I had no energy.  I was having trouble focusing, keeping my eyes opened and felt like I needed a boost. So what did I do? Instead of reaching for a coffee or a candy bar, I stood up and put on some music (“The Club Can’t Handle Me Right Now” by Flo Rida, to be exact) and I shook my booty. I danced around my home office to get my heart rate up and put myself in a good mood. It took me probably less time than it would have taken if I went downstairs to grab a sugary snack or drink and I immediately felt energized. I jumped back into my writing and made quick progress.

If you work in an office where everyone is watching you, a bit of boogie at your desk may not be possible. You might have to leave the area and go for a short brisk walk for a 5-minutes instead. Getting your heart rate up makes an immediate difference. You don’t have to do much. Simply raising your arms up and thrusting them back down toward your shoulders while you breathe in and out will do the trick. Do 30 reps and you’ll feel an immediate difference. Try and take in as much and expel as much air as possible. Do it now even and you’ll feel a difference.

The important thing to remember is when it comes to energy: You get back what you generate.

If you want to increase your energy levels do more aerobic activity. Running (and not too hard, intensely enough that you could carry on a conversation), biking, swimming, yoga, these are all great activities that will amp up your energy levels versus suck them dry. This is because when you engage in aerobic fitness your body uses glycogen and fat as fuel. On the other hand, anaerobic activities – such as weight lifting, sprinting and Crossfit – are great for building muscle but they can be massive energy warping activities. When you engage in anaerobics oxygen is not present so you use glycogen as fuel. Within two hours you can deplete all your glycogen stores and you’ll hit a wall. Bottom line is: Do more aerobic activity!

Get your heart rate up, but don’t overwork your system. Many people sit at a desk all day and then kill themselves at the gym with anaerobic exercise. Instead, maximize your energy and go for a light run or brisk walk or yoga instead. Know your personal fitness goals and balance the two — aerobics and anaerobics — for best results.

Energy Booster 3: Eat a bit less and eat smart

Most people eat more than they need to. Eating is necessary and important, but what most people don’t consider is that digesting food is an energy draining activity. The more you eat during a meal, the more energy it takes to process it. Think of how tired you feel after you eat a giant meal during the holidays. When you stuff your face (which we all do, and happily, from time to time) you may quickly feel like you have no energy after the meal. All you want to do is rest. On the flip side, if you’ve ever been on a liquid cleanse you may have noticed that you had more energy. Veggies and fruits take the least amount of time to digest.

Be cognizant of the foods you eat and the amounts. Some foods take larger amounts of energy to digest than others. Protein and fat take the most time to digest. Carbs take little time but carbs that are not complex – white rice, white bread, pasta – are quick to digest but will raise your blood sugar levels which can lead to a major rise and fall in energy. As a general rule (sorry if you don’t love this idea) eat more veggies and fruits. When you eat protein eat more of it from seafood or grains like quinoa. Don’t be afraid of carbs just be smart about them. Don’t eat white carbs, eat whole grains.

Another quick tip on the food front: Eat more pickled foods like kimchi and sauerkraut. They will help you digest your food fast!

Energy Booster 4: Breathe consciously when you need an energy boost

Raise your arms to the level of your head. Pull them to your shoulders and when you do breathe out as hard as you can (snot might come out of your nose so watch out, but that’s when you know you’re doing this right). Then pump your arms back to your and inhale. Do this 30 times. Repeat the sequence until your heart is pumping.

Raising your hands and dropping them is critical because it will get your heart rate up and blood flowing. That’s what you want to have happen. You can do this anytime when you feel you have no energy. Ever been driving a far distance but you’re getting tired? Don’t stop for a coffee or soda, pull over and do this instead. Or, next time you’re working on a project and you’re feeling fatigued, try this for a quick boost.

Energy Booster 5: Be around people

Simply being in an environment near other people — like at a Starbucks — can be good for your energy levels. Positive interactions with people or even just being around people can amp up your energy massively. Your brain surges with dopamine when you make contact with other human beings. The dopamine increase is healthy. It is natural and similar to what your brain does on cocaine. Being around people packs a massive energy punch. Take a moment to think back to a time in your life with friends or family where you just had an awesome time. Think about how awesome you felt!

The important part with this energy amping rule is to be with people that are positive and not negative energy suckers. Spend time with people you like or go sit in an environment in public with strangers. If you’ve got someone to cuddle up with that’s great too. Go give your partner or kid a hug or cuddle. You’ll get a boost of oxytocin to the brain. It’s another happy energy-boosting neurochemical. If you don’t have someone around to cuddle, go get a massage. Human touch makes you feel good and energized.

Energy Amper 6: Find inspiration

What do you love to do for fun? When’s the last time you had an adventure? Go learn something new or engage in activity that’s fun for the sake of fun and has no real purpose. Lose your mind in a fun activity. If you’re really focused you’ll get in a state of flow. When you activate flow your energy levels will soar. You’re brain will flood with great new ideas.

You don’t even have to go do something to get inspired. You can simple close your eyes and daydream about a future goal you want to achieve. See yourself there and celebrating. Get into your daydream and feel how you would feel if you were there. This will give you an immediately boost of happiness and energy. And to boot, you don’t have to go anywhere. Thinking about grateful moments, or having fun or achieving awesome goals in your future will have you get excited. When you open your eyes you’ll have more energy and feel propelled to get into action.

Energy killers to limit or avoid

Life is about balance. It’s pretty tough for you to rid yourself of energy killers completely (Actually, it is next to impossible). But be cognizant of them and limit them. Balance them with the energy amping activities above and you’ll be a higher performer in all areas of your life.

  • Sugar. Get rid of sugar in your diet as much as you can. When you do eat sugar stick to natural sources like honey. Or low glycemic replacements like agave syrup. Don’t eat sugar substitutes (They are even worse!). No matter how disciplined you are around sugar, once in awhile eat that piece of cake or ice cream. Do not deprive yourself. You will be miserable.
  • Caffeine. I LOVE coffee so this one is tough for me. If you consume caffeine get it from natural sources (coffee or tea, not energy drinks). Balance your caffeine intake with plenty of water.
  • Alcohol. Same rules as caffeine apply.
  • Energy drinks and boosting substances. There are packed with sugar. If you like them, drink them in moderation. Studies show they may not be good for you.
  • Engaging in activities you hate. We all have to do things we hate sometimes (ie. reconciling company books or house cleaning) but do your best to limit these. If you HATE your job, this might be your call to action. We spend a third of our lives at work. If you hate what you do, you are robbing yourself of joy and sucking your energy dry.
  • Avoid negative people. Whether it’s friends, coworkers, neighbors or family, for the most part who you spend the majority of your time with is critical. Spend time with people that lift you up, inspire you and are good for you. Limit your exposure to negative people. Be nice to them when you are around them, but don’t be generous with the energy you spend on them. Negative people are parasites on your energy. Lots of negativity equals no energy.
  • Absorbing negative or useless information. Avoid taking in information on the Internet or TV (like the news) that has no value or is negative. It takes up useful space in your brain to think about valuable things.
  • Avoid hyper intense workouts. Multiple studies conducted on the oldest and healthiest people in the world (superagers) reveals that their physical activity is aerobic and not anaerobic. Remember that anaerobics can drain your energy. So exercise briskly, but don’t over do it.  You should be able to talk as you exercise. This will keep you in the aerobic range. Light running, brisk walking or other pulse boosting activities are ideal. They also burn fat better than anaerobic exercise.
  • Worry or stress. When you find yourself worrying or stressing about things that haven’t happened or thinking about the past too much, divert your attention. What you focus on and the thought you expend around negative stressful things will suck your energy stores dry. Your body uses glucose to think. Also, if you’re thinking negatively your cortisol level (a stress hormone) levels soars then crashes. So be cognizant of what you’re thinking about and when. Don’t let it contribute to you having no energy.

No energy equals no quality of life

Remember that the amount of energy you have equals your quality of life. So, no energy leads to lack of progress, lethargy, fatigue, lack of inspiration and ideas. When you have ample energy you become laser-focused, more productive and you feel happier. It might be worth it to apply some of the information you read in this article right away. Start small. Incremental progress and small chances overtime are the key.

How to keep going when times are tough

Visionaries, leaders and entrepreneurs often talk about the importance of being perseverant. It’s that quality that allows you to keep going when you’re in pursuit of your greatest dreams and times get tough. Many say it’s the antidote that separates the winners from the rest. But, how do you keep going when every fiber of you wants to quit sometimes? So, what do you need to keep being persist and  keep going after you’ve suffered a major failure, setback or roadblock? How to keep going when times are tough is about learning how to control your thoughts and attitude when you want to quit though your heart tells you have to keep going…

9 Tips for how to persevere so you can keep going 

1. Shift how you feel by doing something physical

When times are tough it’s easy to feel hopeless, lost, angry or sad. It’s easy to feel one or more negative emotions. And being in a negative emotional funk will not help you get in action. Being negative won’t help you move forward. So the first thing to do is go to work on YOU.

You can change how you feel with velocity (sometimes in a little time as what it takes to snap your fingers!). The fastest way to feel more powerful and to put yourself into a “I can conquer all” mindset is to get moving. Physically move and engage your body.

Go for a run. Take a cold shower. Jump up and down on a trampoline. Go lift some weights. Shake your booty or dance. Send a surge of energy through your body by moving it. It’s the fastest way to get yourself in a better mood and state of mind. Even simply doing reps of breathing, pulling your hands from the sky towards your body while you take strong breaths will help you feel better.

A secondary mood shifting technique is to use your innate powers for daydreaming. Close your eyes and daydream.Think about a time when you felt happy and really see yourself there. Think about a time or something in your life that you’re grateful for. Then, see yourself in the future achieving what you’re working towards now. See yourself winning and when you do (if there is no one around) shout “yes!”.

The more you get into your daydream (do your best to feel like you’re really there) the more you’ll feel awesome. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between actually doing something and visualizing doing something. It’s like a virtual reality trip you can take from anywhere at anytime to feel anything whenever you want.

2. Remind yourself of WHY you want to keep going

Let’s say you’re an entrepreneur and you’re on a mission to have your business be a global success. You’ve spent years working on your brand, your website, your products. You have an incredible brand but it’s not getting seen by enough people.

And so, you find yourself in a period of frustration. You become a walking cloud of doubt. In your heart, you believe in your company, but you are starting to think “maybe I should quit?”, “maybe this isn’t meant to be”. You feel lost and stuck.  These are signs you’re in the thick of a tough time.

At this point it’s critical you remind yourself WHY you’re doing what you’re doing. Keep your whys close always but especially when times gets tough. There is never one reason why  so make an exhaustive list. Keep asking yourself until you run out of reasons. It might look something like this:

My whys to keep forging ahead with this business and make it a success…

  • I want to make a global difference in my field
  • I want to love what I do every day
  • I NEVER want to work for anyone again. 
  • I want every person in this world to have the tools they need to live the life of their dreams and my business will support them.
  • I want to experience what it’s like to be a multi-millionaire and be financially free 
  • I want to build my dream home one day and live their with my beautiful family
  • I want to teach my kids how to build successful businesses
  • I want to be asked to be a keynote speaker
  • I want to experience speaking in front of thousands of people
  • I have to keep going. There is no other way. Making this business work is like breathing. 
  • I want others to see that their dreams are possible.

3. Zoom out then hyper zoom in

Once you’ve reminded yourself of what you want and why you want it you’ve done the work to globally zoom out to the bigger picture of your mission. After that, shift your focus and hyper zoom in to one task.

Choose ONE basic task you need to complete and throw yourself into it. Block out all distractions. Do your best to throw all your attention on that task. Completing that task will get you out of feeling hopeless and back into action mode.

Action produces results. Action also creates traction when you’re stuck. Action causes momentum. You’ll often find you are ready and feeling better to take the next action.

4. Just do it – Take action even when you don’t feel like it 

At any point you find yourself wondering: “how do I get myself motivated to get in action?” you’re killing your productivity potential. You are majorly slowing down your progress! You’re making a mistake that a lot of people make. You’ve collapsed action with emotion. Theses two don’t need to be aligned.

Think about it… have you ever done something that was good for you but that you didn’t necessarily feel like doing. Have you ever gotten out of bed when you didn’t want to? No way! You mean, you  put two feet on the floor even when you didn’t feel like it? You’ve also likely gone to work when you didn’t feel like it.

The thing to get is, you can feel hopeless and still take an action that would forward your life in the direction you want it to go. You don’t need to feel inspired. And, you don’t need to feel happy. You don’t even need to feel any positive emotion that would motivate you. Take action anyway.

This is the biggest ingredient of the whole perseverance puzzle. Winners just keep going even when they don’t feel like it but know it’s good for them. So keep going

5. Seek inspiration from winners who’ve failed and persevered

If you really want some motivation a great way to get it easily is by reading or watching a biography. Hearing the stories of people who have gone through what you’re going through and triumphed can give you a boost.

6. Stay in your lane

Focus on your journey, your goal, and nobody else’s. Do your best to put your blinders on and hunker down. Look ahead to your future. Forget what other people are doing or saying.

7. Go get some love from another human being

Go hug someone you love. Talk to a friend on the phone. Recreationally complain if you need to. Go to a public area and be with people. Book yourself in for a massage. The touch of another human is magically relaxing. It’ll help you ease the fears, the stress, the struggle you’re feeling. You’ll quickly learn you are not alone.

8. Applaud the small victories

Take stock of what you’ve done. Notice even the smallest of victories. Celebrate them. They are a big deal.

9. Perseverance conditioning

If you really want to hone your ability and learn how to keep going when times are tough, condition yourself to do things that are mentally and physically challenging on a regular basis. You’ll train yourself to be unstoppable in the face of the circumstances and obstacles that come your way.

Whatever source story you believe in, this is the perfect time to remind yourself that the Universe has a plan for you. You’re life is unfolding the way it should. The hardships you’re going through now will make you stronger and wiser. Keep going when the times are tough and soon you’ll be able to look back and be thankful you did.

Feeling lost in your 20s? You can free yourself quickly

Feeling lost in your 20s? You can free yourself quickly and maybe quicker than you think. The tips below may inspire you to take some new actions so you can get yourself to a place of feeling better fast.

Feeling lost in your 20s

Feeling lost in your 20s is kind of normal

Feeling lost in your 20s is (unfortunately) part of the process

If you’re feeling lost you might be feeling embarrassed about it, or like you’re being ridiculous. Aren’t the 20s supposed to be some of the best years of your life? You’ve got a bright future ahead of you. You’ve got your youth. And most 20-year olds are also in great physical health. You should be feeling grateful and excited not feeling lost. Right? 

The answer to that is: NO! Feeling lost in your 20s is part of the process. You’re still figuring your life out. Most 20-year olds don’t have it all together. Most have bouts of uncertainty about their direction in life. Take a moment to tell yourself to breathe and chill out. It’s okay to be feeling lost in your 20s. It’s also not that hard to find yourself again.

Here’s why you are feeling lost in your 20s…

Statistically, the occurrence of feeling lost in your 20s is growing rapidly. This is due to a variety of factors but the biggest reason is the Internet. It has changed the way people live and work globally. It’s opened up so many pathways of opportunity. If you’re in you’re 20s your bound to be confused and more than previous generations were.

You’d think having more options would be a good think. You’d think it would give you freedom but that’s not true. Options complicate things. Too much information coming at you warps your energy. It makes you confused. This is why feeling lost in your 20s is a growing experience. There’s a name for it: The Quarter Life Crisis. And you can experience a quarter life crisis anywhere form 20-40 and multiple times!

Feeling lost in your 20s can feel isolating because you think you shouldn’t feel that way. Most people don’t share openly about feeling lost which is why it’s not often talked about. But feeling lost is 100% normal. So take that too heart. It might help to remember that you’re not alone.

How to free yourself when you’re feeling lost in your 20s….

Accept the process

The first thing to do when you’re feeling lost in your 20s is to accept that feeling lost happens. It’s happening to you now. It will likely happen again. Periods of feeling lost is a human experience. Life is not perfect. There are ebbs and flow to the journey. When you’re lost, simply consider that you’re in an ebb period and you’re on your way to clarity. It will come. This time will pass. The way you feel will pass. It’s inevitable.

After you normalize what you’re going through by owning that this is part of the process for everyone then you can take some actions to feel better as soon as possible, gain clarity and jump back into action.

Ask yourself these questions…

It might be time for you to ask yourself some deeper questions about your role in this world and what you want to do with your life. When you answer these questions it will help you formulate future you’d like to see yourself achieve. When you decide what you want and you begin taking action you’ll feel much better. The questions to ask yourself when you’re feeling lost in your 20s are:

1) What do you want your life to be about?

2) What you want to contribute to this world?

3) What do you want to experience in life?  

These are the questions to start to consider. You may have some answers. Or you may not. It doesn’t matter whether you have answers or not. What matters is that you start to think and get curious about these things. Start exploring and researching options conceptually. Start visualizing your future and thinking about what you’d like it to contain.

What do you love to do now? 

What are you passionate about?

Answer these questions and start taking actions in that direction. Let your passions, your heart, your deep desires lead you and figure out how to fit the rational pieces in. For instance, if you want to be a musician go be a musician! But if you also want to make money figure out how to combine those two things. The easiest way is to find someone who is doing what you want to do. Start learning, start modeling them. It’s definitely a place to start.  But remember: Passion first, logistics second.

Do lots of different things

Explore. Dip your toe in new experiences. Think about what you’d like to do and try. Then, take ACTION. Go try them. Test the waters. The sooner you are able to discern what you want and don’t want the sooner you’ll see a clear path. Don’t stay in your box. Get outside yourself! You’re options are limited by what you know. And so, be in the pursuit of gaining new knowledge. It will give you an edge. It will help you see the direction you want to go in.

Go to work on you

In a world that conditions us that success is about external validation, the best thing you can do at this time in your life is go to work on you. Learn how to communicate like a master. Discover how to become influential. Learn how to control your emotions. This is what truly gives you the power in life to do anything.

Emotional intelligence training – focusing on building your personal skills of thinking and communication – will allow you to achieve anything you want. When you work on your own personal power you take that power everywhere you go. You experience a new way of living. You learn what success really is.

Tap into the resources around you, seek out new ones. Learn how to generate ideas. Discover how make money from ideas (aka build businesses)

And then, learn how to shift your emotions so when you feel bad you can flip the switch to feeling good. It’s powerful and it will give you strength when you are confused and feeling lost in your 20s.

You can start now. Start here. Go read some articles or grab so free personal development tools. If you want more info on quarter life crisis, grab this: Quarter Life Crisis ebook – free copy 

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Feeling lost and lonely? Here’s what to do about it…

At one point in your life, you will find yourself feeling lost and lonely. You won’t know what to do and it will feel excruciatingly miserable. It feels terrible because happiness is linked to making progress. You feel great when you’re moving in a forward direction towards what you’d like to achieve in your life. When you’re not, it’s mentally agonizing. Feeling lonely, as well, only makes it worse.

And of course, feeling lost and lonely is usually a matched set. This is because no one wants to talk openly about it. It’s common to share about your triumphs when life is great. But, when life is directionless the inclination is to hide how you feel (and hide from people) until you sort it out.

If you’re suffering in silence and googling for clarity, this article will provide you some immediate relief.

Here’s a step by step method to your way back…

Surrender to how you feel

When you feel lost you can be damn sure you’ll do your best to think your way out of it.  You’ll immediately start asking yourself why you feel the way you do . You’ll come up with reasons to validate why. Then, you’ll start trying to figure out what you need to do to feel better and gain some traction in life.

But here’s the kicker about feeling lost: Sometimes you know WHY you feel the way you do. And, you’ll have some ideas of WHAT to do, but you can still feel foggy and unclear. You’ll still find yourself grappling and you will still feel confused and uncertain about what to do.

The first thing to do is accept where you’re at. Accept the uncomfortable feelings and thoughts your having. Surrender to this moment in your life. Stop fighting it. Stop trying to figure things out. Just do your best to BE with the way things are, without the need to fix it.

Relinquish control and get immediate peace

When you force change to occur, you’ll create resistance. If you have thoughts like “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I need to do something about this” you are trying to force too much. Relinquish control and you’ll get some immediate peace.

The more you try and force yourself to feel better the worse you’ll make the situation. Anytime you try and force situations and emotions to change you’ll create resistance. This will extend your period of feeling lost. You don’t want to do this.

When you’re feeling lost and lonely, accepting where you’re at probably doesn’t inspire you too much.

But the best thing to do is say to yourself: “Where I’m at right now in my life is the perfect place for me to be. Clarity is soon to come.” Do your best to chill out and be in a state of wonder. Wonder what’s next to emerge in your life. Start to be inquisitive. Try on ideas and possible future pathways in your mind like you’re shopping for clothes that fit.

What you resist persists. So surrender and get that this is jus at period you’re in right now. It will pass as all stages and emotions do.

Don’t make rash decisions

You might feel like making some radical changes when you feel lost and alone, such as: Break up with a partner, quit a job, move across the country. Don’t do anything major. Carry on with your regular day-to-day life as best you can. Distract yourself from your negative thoughts. Refocus on new projects and other people. Your sense of feeling lost will fade. Clarity will come. Wait it out.

Decisions need to be made only when you feel good. When you make decisions when you’re in a negative state you’re reacting to life versus taking an active approach to life. Decisions made when you feel bad will never turn out well.

Share authentically

You’re innate ability to share is a gift. Sharing is a bridge out of the darkness of your mind. It builds connections with others. It creates an access from you to the world. Sharing helps inspiration, hope, belief and love to flow to you.

There’s strength in sharing authentically about how you feel with people you trust and love, and sometimes even strangers.  The catch is you won’t feel like sharing about the fact you’re feeling lost and lonely. Do it anyways! (You can still do something even if you don’t feel like it. It’s like getting out of bed on a Monday morning when you feel like sleeping in).

But if you’re brave enough to say to a few people “you know, I’ve been feeling a bit directionless at this point in my life”, you’ll likely get some immediate relief. You’ll likely see you’re not alone in your experience. You’ll see how people are willing to help. You may even get some inspiration. Perhaps a new opportunity will show up. Or, you’ll connect with someone on a deeper level.

Lastly, share authentically but also make sure you’re not sharing over and over with the same person or being super negative. Sharing about your struggle is different than bitching complaining. Don’t be an energy sucker for other people.

Take care of your physical health

Crappy food. No fresh air. No exercise. This will certainly NOT help.

Focus right now on taking care of your body, mind and spirit. Do what you need to do to feel good. Make sure you’re not overloading on sugar, caffeine, or fast food. Get outside. Move your body. Eat well. Nourish yourself.

This includes feeding your brain with positive information and knowledge. Listen to an audiobook that inspires you. Evaluate the content you take in daily. Weed out the crap.

Watch what you say!

Pay close attention to the language you use when you’re with others and what you say to yourself. Shift the jargon you use so it’s lighter and more objective. For instance, if you keep saying to yourself and others: “I feel like shit. I don’t know what to do”, a slight change to: “I haven’t been feeling to best. I’m seeking inspiration” will take the sting off of the way you feel and help you’re focus shift. It will help you remain open to new possibilities during an uncomfortable time.

When you speaking negatively you train your brain to carve out and speed up more negative pathways. So take control of your language, make some slight changes. It will help you to start thinking more objectively and to be more open-minded.

Feeling lonely? Go be around people

Loneliness is voluntary. When you feel alone, go be around people. Call someone. Go on the Internet and connect with someone. Simply putting yourself in an atmosphere of people — a shopping mall, a farmers market, a beach, a Starbucks — can help pull you out of your funk.

You also might have moments where you want to be alone. Go be in nature and think. Sit quietly. Take a bath and feel the warm water on your body. Do whatever you need to do to feel good.

Have more fun

Reconnect with your inner child. Play. Do something pointless and random that you like to do for no reason at all. Getting lost in fun will help you find yourself.

  • Try an adult coloring book.
  • Listen to a genre of music that’s new to you.
  • Borrow someone’s dog or cat for a weekend.
  • Eat food you never tried.
  • Seek out new people and experiences.
  • Do cartwheels in the park.
  • Go fishing.

Finally, here is the bottom line on feeling lost and lonely. It’s temporary, and therefore it will not last. You will find yourself and your passion again. You can give up feeling lonely and rejoin the world. Re-read this guide and apply the advice and you’ll get there sooner.

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