Have you been thinking "I hate my life" right now? Take a moment to to first breathe and know that you're not alone. 100% of people will have this thought at least once in their life. That doesn't mean that feeling this way doesn't suck. This is especially true when that thought seems to stick around for a long time. You're in the right place. If you've been thinking "I hate my life", here's how to free yourself when you feel this way...
Why you're having "I hate my life" thoughts
The first question to ask yourself is: Do you hate all aspects of your life? Or, is it just one aspect or a few? It's important you first pinpoint what you hate. Do you hate your body? Do you hate your job? Or, do you hate the environment where you live? Is there anything you do love and want to salvage and keep? Or, do you feel like your life needs a complete overhaul?
If you're having I hate my life thoughts the first thing to do is GET SPECIFIC on what exactly it is about your life that you hate. Noticing that you hate your life, and specifically what exactly you hate about it, is the first step to making serious, lasting changes. It can feel terrible to notice that you hate one or more aspects of your life. Still, the good news is that this is the first step to turning things around for the better. All change starts with the realization that change needs to happen. When you have "I hate my life" thoughts, it's a sign you need to listen to you and make some serious changes. The sooner you make changes the sooner you'll feel better. This doesn't mean doing anything drastic. Sometimes taking very simple actions can improve the quality of your life almost immediately.
Get specific. This is critical because it's easy to let the hatred of one area of your life color all areas. For instance, if you hate your body, the negative thoughts around your body might be coloring how you experience your relationships. It's important to separate your life into components. Get clear on what you love and what you hate before you do anything else.
Get to the root of what's causing your discomfort
After you pinpoint the area or areas you hate about your life ask yourself WHY. Why do you hate this area or areas?
Then, reflect on what you do want. Get specific on that too. Because once you have an idea about what you do want then you can ask yourself the most important question: What's preventing me from having what I want? The reasons you come up with are really what's stopping you. Those are the things to go to work on. You can either go to work on solving your reasons or work on changing your mindset around that reason so the reason loses it's value.
For instance, if you hate your body and the reason you don't have what you want is that you hate exercise, then you know you need to find a way to enjoy exercise. Or, you need to work on shifting your beliefs around exercise. If your challenge is that your business isn't successful, and what's in the way is a lack of time, then you need to go to work on new ways to manage your time. Or, you need to optimize your businesses processes in a new way.
Either way, whenever you're thinking "I hate my life" there are only two variables in the way of you being able to say "I love my life": 1) You're missing a piece of KNOWLEDGE and you don't know what to do or, 2) You haven't taken the right ACTION. So ask yourself, what's missing? Do you not know what to do? Or do you need to come up with a new strategy (new actions) to get you what you want?
Switch things up
The simplest way to start to improve your life and gain momentum is to do something new. Take a new action. Try a new technique, a new approach. Go learn something new about the area you're struggling with. This will help you to start thinking differently and seeing things differently. If you hate your body and you know you need to eat better or exercise more, a place to start might be to explore new forms of fitness or different foods. Take at least one simple and new action. This will help you start to gain traction in the area or areas of life that you hate right now.
Here's the other challenge most people are met with...you think you need to feel like doing something to do it. This is a big misconception and it stops you from getting what you want. You don't need to feel like taking an action that's good for you to take that action. Think about it, have you ever been woken up by your alarm clock and not wanted to get out of bed but you put your feet on the floor and stood up anyway? You don't need to feel like taking action to take the action. This is a concept to commit to memory. Sometimes an action is good for you and your life but doesn't necessarily feel that way. You don't need to be motivated to take action, you can take action regardless.
Beware of overusing external remedies to fix your life
Most people have been conditioned to use means of external gratification to solve problems. This can be a problem as it can cause you more long term pain than pleasure. For instance, you're unsatisfied with your relationship but instead of dealing with your feelings or talking it out you turn to food. Or to destress after a day at a job you don't love, you tune out of life by throwing yourself into tv and drinking half a bottle of wine. Sometimes you need to eat that piece of cake or drink some wine or watch a show but sometimes you start to use external forces as crutches. All things are good in moderation but they can also develop into bad habits. For instance, if you turn to food when you're stressed you might incur long term health issues.
If you feel yourself getting out of balance and looking outward for external fixes to your life challenges it's a clue you need to start taking some new actions. It's a clue you are feeling unsatisfied. You need to take a new action and you also may need to develop some new and more positive habits to replace the ones that aren't good for you. What habits are not serving you in the long-term? How could you replace them with better habits?
Remember that the future you're living into is everything
What makes you feel happy now is the future you're heading into. Think about it. If you're heading on a trip to Jamaica for two weeks and you're leaving tomorrow, today you'll feel pretty excited. What this means is if you're looking ahead to your future and seeing more of what you hate now, you will feel terrible about your life. You'll gain immediate power when you decide what you want to achieve in the near future. Then, take at least one simple action to move towards that future.
Lastly, it's up to you
If you are saying to yourself "I hate my life" or "I love my life" the question is...who is the "I" in that statement? It's you. You are the only person that can ultimately decide what you want in life and what you are willing to do to get it. It's up to you. No one can live your life for you. The power to have what you want rests on your shoulders. And it's 100% possible. You can have your dream life. You can turn the tables from hating your life to loving it quickly but you have to decide you want to and commit to it. Commit to your happiness. You can do that by following the guidance in this article. Here's a recap:
- Pinpoint the area or areas you're dissatisfied with and GET SPECIFIC on what it is you hate
- Consider what you DO WANT and WHY you want it
- Ask yourself what's preventing you from getting it
- Learn or take new actions to forward what you do want. Start with one simple action. Incremental progress is key
So, you got this. Your dream life is not as far as it may seem. It's time to start loving your life. Soon your "I hate my life" thoughts will be a distant memory.