Awesome Life Club

Little known tool is a productivity maximizer

The TMM also lessens stress and improves fulfillment in all areas of life

Ready for a simple-to-use time management tool that will change your life? What If I told you that by using it you could:

  1. Accomplish more of what you’d like to accomplish on a daily basis
  2. Experience less stress
  3. Feel more freedom and fulfillment
  4. Minimize major crisis situations
  5. Be more planned and intentional with what you do each day
  6. Move your life into a future that inspires you

Sound good? I consider this little hack – called the Task Management Matrix (TMM)  — a real game-changer.

The TMM is a grid with four quadrants that you can use as a guide for dividing your daily tasks. It doesn’t look particularly sexy, but trust me when I say it will produce crazy results for you.

The grid helps you focus on what you want to achieve in life, and then helps you automatically distribute your daily tasks intelligently, so you progress in the areas that matter most.

 

How to use the Task Management Matrix

The TMM was originally designed and used by President Eisenhower. He’s credited as the most productive president in U.S. history and likely it’s because he used this tool each morning to decide what tasks to do when. I’ve added an additional step to further improve his formula.

Here’s what the Task Management Matrix looks like:

matrix1

If you’ve never seen this before, don’t let it intimidate you. It’s easy to use.  All you have to do is consider all your tasks for the day and divide them by quadrant.

You’ll want to distribute your time so you spend approximately 65% on tasks that fall in Quadrant 2. To better understand why and how to use it let’s consider the most common time management errors that most people fall into.

Common task and time management errors

Many people spend the majority of their time in Quadrant 1. If that’s you, it means you mainly engage in tasks that are IMPORTANT AND URGENT. In other words, tasks that require your immediate attention and contribute to some long-term goal or commitment in life. Activities like:

  • Delivering a work project by a short deadline
  • Calming a crying baby
  • Seeing your doctor to get a plugged ear de-waxified
  • Cleaning out a moldy kitchen fridge
Is cleaning your dirty fridge in the way of your aspirations to become a Nobel laureate
Is cleaning your dirty fridge in the way of your aspirations to become a Nobel laureate?

Yes, these are important things to do, but spending most of your time here is a trap that’s easy to fall into. Humans are hardwired to manage short-term disasters first.  It’s how our early ancestors survived.

But the brain doesn’t delineate, which is why we can sometimes fall into a trap of living a life where we are always “putting out fires”. That means, we get into a routine of always reacting to crisis, versus doing what needs to be done to ensure the crisis never happens in the first place.

The problem with focusing your energy on tasks in Quadrant 1 means you are always reacting to life. You are always rushing to finish or fix something. You’re thinking can become narrow with no concern for the long-term future. You end up doing what needs to get done today with no regard for the fact that your present actions will dictate the future you are living into.

You can’t avoid Quadrant 1 altogether. There are times where crisis situations arise around you that are not under your control. For example, if your boss drops a project for a multi-million dollar client with a two-week deadline on your desk, it’s in your best interest to comply, even if you don’t exactly want to (especially if you want to keep your job!).

But, the way you work is on you.

You can be someone who rushes last minute the night before. Or, the moment you receive the project you can spent some time planning your hours of work over the two-week time frame to ensure you’re not rushing and have time to do your best work. Which person would you rather be?

Now, if you spend most of your time on UNIMPORTANT BUT URGENT tasks you might spend most of your time in Quadrant 3.  These are activities that don’t further your progress into the future you desire to create for yourself. Tasks such as:

  • Dropping what you are doing to help a friend or family member do something that requires immediate attention and is important to them but doesn’t further your life
  • Going to a job you hate every day without making plans to change your career
  • Responding to personal text messages or emails that get in the way of important tasks

If the majority of your time is spent in Quadrant 3 you’re likely busy yet you often feel like you’re not getting anywhere in life.

Is knitting sweaters for your dogs in the way of your career as an astronaut?
Is knitting sweaters for your dogs in the way of your career as an astronaut?

What’s worse is spending most of your time in Quadrant 4.  If you spend most of your time having fun, engaged in activities that make you feel good, but don’t forward your life in any productive way, you’ll likely have an enjoyable life, but limited achievement. These activities are primarily distractions. You may find yourself feeling unfulfilled. Do you do these things often?:

  • Watch TV
  • Play video games
  • Browse the web or social media
  • Shop
  • Gamble
  • Knit matching sweaters for your dogs

This not to say that you shouldn’t engage in fun.  It’s very important for your mental health.  But, if you have too much fun it doesn’t forward your overall commitments.

How to manage your life so you feel relaxed, organized, “on top of things”, and  you get where you want to in life:

If you spend most of your time in Quadrant 2 – then, BRAVO!  If not, you might want to try this right away:

Spend approximately 65% of your time engaged in activities that are IMPORTANT but NOT URGENT. Tasks that fall into this category include:

  • Relationship building
  • Recreation
  • Creating action plans

If you do this, you’ll minimize crisis situations because in many cases you’ve already taken care of these issues before they have time to develop into major problems. For instance, if you throw out expired food on the day it goes bad you’ll be able to avoid the dirty, moldy, stinky fridge.

Ideal distribution of tasks would look like this:

Matrix2

Here’s what’s crucial, before you divide all your to-do’s for the day into the four quadrants you need to remind yourself of what you are committed to in life and what specific outcomes you’d like to achieve that day. This will help you ensure that your daily tasks are aligned with where you’d like to guide your future.

For instance, if you’d like to improve your physical fitness, you’ll need to make sure you remind yourself of that commitment to ensure you incorporate daily fitness tasks into your schedule.

Therefore, prior to filling out the matrix and distributing your daily tasks you’ll need to answer the question “What outcomes am I committed to achieving in today? ” for all areas that contribute to your well-being.

Use the Task Management Matrix for at least one day, and up to one week. It can take as little as 15 minutes for you to divide your task at the beginning of your day.

I guarantee if you use it even just one day you will see it’s tremendous value.

Grab a printable PDF version of the grid here with step by step instructions.

 

 

How to fast-track to the life of your dreams: Learn these 3 skills

How to fast-track the life of your dreams
How to fast-track the life of your dreams in by learning three key skills

If I asked you: What would your “dream life” look like? That is, what would your life look like if everything was perfect in all areas – your physical health, relationships, career, purpose, finances, home environment. What would you tell me?

Then, if I asked you: Are you living that life right now? What would your answer be?

For most people the answer would be: no! or “kind of, but…”.

Don’t feel bad. That’s common for the majority of people

The most important question however to ask is: Do you have a plan to change the areas of life that don’t inspire you?

Do you have a detailed action plan?

And are you implementing that plan?

And is it specific, measurable and has a concrete timeline?

…and are my questions freaking you out?

If you can answer all those questions calmly and are able to provide specific answers on what you want, what your plan is and what actions you’re taking, then you are on track to achieving the life you desire.

And most importantly…you are thinking and behaving like a visionary.

Visionaries are revered as exceptional for their skills in turning dreams into reality. Many of them make a massive difference in the world and leave a legacy. They are people like: Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, and Oprah Winfrey.

Master the three roles all visionaries are skilled in and you can get anything you want in any area of life. This doesn’t mean you need a desire to change the world, but it’s the secret to turning your dreams into reality. And you’ll do it faster than you would if you didn’t have these skills:

Ready to fast-track the life of your dreams? Master these 3 roles:

You see, visionaries aren’t ordinary people. Life doesn’t “happen to them”. They design their lives. They are highly intentional and calculated about everything they do. And they do this by playing three roles in one.

Many of them don’t necessarily know they are playing these roles. It starts with a burning desire so deep in them that they figure out, train and do anything they need to, to have the dream realized. Martin Luther King Jr. began his legacy with a burning desire for equality. He had a vision for the future and then he started to plot out and take actions that were consistent.

Here are the three roles all visionaries play:

  1. The Architect
  2. The Planner
  3. The Builder

Most people are generally good at at least two of the roles, but have a weakness in one or two. Below is a description of each. They will help you zero in on what skills you are lacking, so you can train to be proficient in each role.

For me, I’m great architect and builder, but a horrible planner. I’ve had to train myself to be organized, create plans and create better plans with fewer gaps (flaws). Planning for me does not come naturally. For other people (maybe you) it is a strength, but you may have trouble visualizing outcomes.

Read on and consider which roles you are strong at or lacking….there is a helpful exercise at the end of this article.

Drawing of building
Drawing of building

Role #1: The Architect: Envisions a future end goal. In other words, an outcome. Thinks about the end goal first before building anything.

Consider how architects work. They visualize the design of a building first. Then, they sketch it out, they create a technical blueprint. When they do this, the idea comes out of their head and starts to become a reality.

A visionary does this by creating an future goal they’d like to attain. This is something they deeply desire to accomplish. They think about it and then start to formulate a plan in their mind. Capturing the thoughts on paper is an important step because it helps move an idea into a reality.

blueprints
blueprints of building

Role #2: The Planner: The planner takes an idea and formulates a detailed action plan on how it will get done. They chart out the road to the end goal – and design the milestones required to be met to get there from where they are now. And to reach completion.

Planning is a crucial step prior to action. It allows you to be strategic. It will help you increase your effectiveness and reduce error.

The planner does a lot of thinking work to build a plan that is specific and measurable. They plan everything down to the smallest details.

The builder role gets a project done
The builder role gets it done

Role #3: The Builder: The builder executes on the plan or plans. They do the physical work required to the accomplish the end game. They are the action takers, doers and the worker-bees.

Quick exercise:
Think about the three roles above. What’s your strength? Which one have you mastered? Which ones are weak or need work? Do it for yourself. Do it for someone you know well. Your spouse, your best friend, etc.

People who aren’t great builders don’t follow the plan OR they take a really long time to get into action.

Here’s how to streamline the process of getting in action so you can accomplish more.

Not only does a visionary perform these three roles they do it in a cyclical motion. As a diagram that would look something like this:

visionary cycle

They map out an idea, then create a structure of how to accomplish it in reality, then they take action. Now, little do things go as perfectly as planned. Environmental challenges that were not accounted for get in the way. Projects can take longer than expected. So when the plan goes in a new direct they adjust. They recalibrate.

If you learn how to master the skills of these three roles you will become unstoppable. You will also feel more freedom, self-expression and joy as you’ll have a plan and be taking actions to achieve your dreams. Deep happiness comes from continued personal progress and expansion.

If you want to learn more about this approach make sure to join awesome life club. You’ll get a series of gifts inspired by this post that will train you to get what you want in life with velocity.

 

Conquer your fear of public speaking in 4 easy steps

How to conquer a fear of public speaking
How to conquer a fear of public speaking -simply and easily

Public speaking terrifies most people, but it doesn’t have to. Study and implement the simple four-step process below and conquer fear of public speaking once and for all.

You will experience more freedom, fulfillment and self-expression than you ever have before.

But — a warning before you read on: Step 1 of the method below might scare you. Keep reading. Step 2, 3 and 4 make Step 1 easy.

And keep this in mind: Public speaking is the No.1 fear in the world. So to master it, will give you an edge over most people in all social situations.

Now, the term “public speaking” is open to interpretation, so let’s  first define it. Many people would say it’s the act of one person delivering a speech to a large group or audience.

However, any moment where you stand face-to-face in front of one or more people and you’re the only person talking is public speaking.

So talking to your neighbor Joe and his dog and son as you walk by him on the street also qualifies. Though that’s much less flashy. And it’s a smaller audience.

This means that most people will experience the fear of public speaking at least once in their life and likely many more than that. Experts say that to conquer fear of public speaking can seem to be one of the hardest things to do. The fear is also extremely common. What brings on the fear depends on the situation: Who you are speaking to and where you are speaking are the determining variables. This is why in certain situations the mere thought of communicating can paralyze you.

Conquer fear of public speaking: It’s actually not that hard

Why do we get so scared about talking to other people? Underneath this fear is a universal desire all humans possess: To be accepted. We all like to be liked. To fit in. (This is true even for people who pretend they don’t care what people think. These people have an even deeper fear so they protect themselves by pushing people away. But I digress.)

It’s an evolutionary process that’s hardwired into our species. Our ancestors survived because they learned to collaborate. The reverse, – being ostracized – was a death sentence.

Of course, it’s not like that today. If your communication offends people (usually) you’ll survive, but your biology still maintains its old reflexes. Your body has a built in trigger that alerts you to threats in your environment. Sometimes you’re aware of this behavior sometimes you’re not.

If you manage to speak while still deathly afraid, you will likely experience a mix of physical symptoms such as: sweating profusely; a rapid beating heart; stuttering. Which, doesn’t make for an engaging presentation for others.

Aside from these major annoyances, the affects on your life can be much worse, including:

  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Resentment
  • Frustration

…and a rather sad existence.

Now imagine if you were in complete control when you spoke? What would that be like? Imagine if you were a super confident casanova-style smooth talking speaker that charmed and engaged and inspired anyone you spoke to?

Now, here’s the critical tip about fear: It’s worth it to train yourself to master the fear long before you’re confronting it, or in full flop sweat crisis.

It may surprise you how easy a feat so daunting as learning how to control the world’s No.1 fear. Read the four step process. Take it on, and rock your life.

Steps to conquer fear of public speaking

Step 1: Book yourself a speaking gig

I warned you this first step would take a bit of courage, but stay with me on this. The steps to follow will make Step 1 a breeze.

Everyone’s an expert on some topic. If you don’t think you are ask someone who knows you really well.

Find a group you can speak to and book yourself a slot. This is a “throw your hat over the fence” approach, that will have you walk right into your fear and deal with it.

Sounds scary but it’s not if you follow steps 2, 3, and 4…

Step 2: Use this easy formula to plan an engaging talk

We’ve all experienced feeling trapped in a moment of time having to listen to a not-so engaging speaker. You know those instances when you feel rude to leave so you stay and put up with having to listen to someone? That’s what I’m talking about. It sucks listening to someone speak who doesn’t do it eloquently or at least make it interesting.

Don’t be that person.

Here’s how to prepare a presentation that doesn’t suck. When you practice this method you can use it in all your spoken communication – business meetings, telling stories at parties, at PTA meetings, etc.

Here’s what you need to do:

Before you present consider the quality of the message you’d like to convey. Ask yourself:

1. What outcome do I want to achieve by delivering this speech?
2. What key message would I like to convey?

Now, here’s how to go about writing your speech:

Use the formula expert copywriters use to write words that sell. The acronym is: AIDA. (I learned this from John Carlton, if you want to be an expert in words that sell read something by him or take one of his courses. What he teaches will blow your mind).

Attention – Initiate immediate engagement with your audience by speaking about a pain point they have.

Interest – Tell a story, share a nugget of information most people wouldn’t know. This develops intrigue.

Desire – Speak to what they are not doing about the pain point so to arouse their deep human urges to do something about it.

Action – Don’t leave people hanging. You’ve inspired them and they are excited, tell them do something.

 

Step 3: Practice delivering your talk over and over…and over

Read your talk aloud to yourself.

Read your talk to yourself in front of a mirror.

Read your talk in front of someone you are comfortable with (a spouse or good friend).

Conquer fear of public speaking by practicing in front of encouraging friends
Conquer fear of public speaking by practicing in front of encouraging friends

conquer fear of public speaking

Read  your talk for two or more people. Ask them for feedback. Tweak your talk if you need to.

(Here’s a bonus secret tip. Instruct them to be really interested in your speech and to cheer you on. Even though this may not be authentic. Do it as an exercise. You will be amazed at how easy it is to talk to a group that loves what you have to say and forgives any stumble.)

Practice your until you can do it without your script. When you know it that well you can into the realm of performance.

Then finally, perform it. Have fun with it. Be funny with it.

Deliver it from memory again and again and again.

Put on the clothes you would wear and deliver it again.

If you can practice in the location where you’ll be delivering what you need to say, do that.

Step 4: Turn on your confidence switch before you’re in performance

On the day of the speech, you don’t need to do any rehearsal work. At this point you should know it well. Most of the hard work to conquer fear of public speaking is done!

Instead, focus on what you need to do to mentally and physically feel good. Go for a walk or a run or get some exercise. Eat a healthy breakfast. Iron your shirt and shine your shoes. Get yourself into a state of feeling good.

As your performance nears you’ll likely start to feel some agitation, some anxiety, some nerves. Good! This helps you be in an state of alertness. If you find yourself succumbing to the negative physical cue that comes with pre-performance. Use one of these four methods:

  1. Visualize the outcome you desire. Close your eyes. Visualize yourself feeling confident, walking out on stage and being awesome.
  2. Use character modeling. Character modeling is a tool I teach that allows you to step out of yourself and into the shoes of someone you consider to be an expert. You can put on their characteristics like putting on a suit.
  3. Breathe. If you’re having trouble managing physical symptoms close your eyes and separate yourself from your physical surroundings then breath. If you can do this for a few moments you’ll calm your natural biological tendencies that happen when you’re in a fear state.
  4. Ground yourself in your burning desires, your commitments. Simply thinking about what you are committed to can have you shift your focus from the present moment to the outcome you are looking to achieve.

After your talk the only thing to do is evaluate your performance. Look for ways you can improve. What’s most important is that you then book yourself another speaking engagement. Each time you speak in front of a group you will reduce your fear. Keep practicing. The added bonus: As you share your words you’ll inspire people to do the same and to take action from whatever it is you talk about. That’s the beauty of communication and expressing yourself.

If you want more extensive tips on conquering fear – including your desire to conquer fear of public speaking – or to manage different types of fear you may face, you’ll want to grab this quick free fear-stomping guide: 12 Ways to Be Confident On-Demand

 

 

Is judgement in the way of your success?

You can’t judge a book by its cover – ok well maybe you do any way

Have you ever had the experience of disliking someone you really didn’t have a good reason to dislike? Maybe you just met them and there is this “something” about them you can’t stand?

Or, maybe there is someone in your social circle or at work you are not a fan of but have to deal with regularly. Each time you have be around them you cringe.

Here’ a quick story about how I went from loathing to loving a person and what I learned about our natural instincts of judgement. Learning how to control judgement and get rid of it when it’s in the way of opportunity can have you expand your success in all areas of life.

===============

Six years ago I was taking a leadership course in New York. It was a three-day course and each evening we had a list of assignments. One them was to bring a dictionary to class.

I forgot to do my homework and remembered only as I entered the room and noticed a sea of dictionaries. I sat down feeling annoyed with myself.

Of course you forgot! You’re so disorganized. You suck!

Moments later in walked a classmate that I referred to in my head as “Mr. Perfect”. Not the most creative label but it did the job to describe how I related to this man.

He strolled in dressed like a high paid business man, someone you’d find on Wall Street. And so damn fit and polished in appearance. He sat down across the room with the world’s largest most comprehensive dictionary.  (Like, really dude?)

Giant dictionaryOf course he brought the most extensive dictionary in the world. It was just like him to do so. I was aggravated. I thought: “How could a person be so perfect, so put together all the the time?”

And, yes, there was a shred of jealousy.  I certainly didn’t feel very perfect and polished most of the time, no matter how I tried.

Months after this weekend we were out with a group of mutual friends at a pub. After a few beers we had a conversation that completely shifted the dynamic of our non-relationship. It went something like this:

Mr. Perfect: “You know, I think I actually like you. You’re actually pretty cool. To be honest, I used to think you were a cold bitch”.

Me: “Me? A bitch?!” 

Mr. Perfect: “Ya. You were always sitting in class with a pissed off look on your face, all serious with your arms crossed. What’s with the f**** you attitude?”

Me: “Woah. I never knew I came off like that. I’m the sweetest kindest person. I don’t hate anybody.  I’m actually very insecure about the way I look. I never feel good enough. I think that’s why I come off cold and distant. I don’t know how you can be so polished all the time. You’re like a Mr. Perfect.” 

Mr. Perfect: “Me? You think I’m perfect? I certainly don’t think that about myself. Truth is, I’m pretty hard on myself. I never think I’m good enough.” 

After this conversation things were never the same and they couldn’t be. We had both been unabashedly authentic with each other and fessed up to what we thought. We were able to understand each other on a deeper level. We were both dealing with different versions of the same feelings of inadequacy.

But most importantly, we were able to remove our judgements of each other and experience each other for who we were. He was no longer “Mr. Perfect” he was just a guy with similar challenges and issues as myself.

And we became good friends. (And we ended up going on a few dates.) Today, years later, that person runs a charity for children that my husband created.

This experience had me learn some profound things about judgement:

Judgements are natural. First of all there’s nothing you can do to get rid of judgements. In fact, all thoughts are judgements. You just want to filter what’s a true threat versus what’s a bias from from your past. Noticing a judgement allows you to disrupt it and choose a new action.

Judgements keep us safe. They are important because it’s what us humans use to evaluate our environment and decide if it’s safe before we interact with it.  For instance, “that driver is an idiot” will have you slow down and avoid them, potentially saving your life if they make a mistake in their haste.

Judgements kill opportunities. Start to monitor your judgements. Ask yourself could: “I be missing a major opportunity in this circumstance or with this person?” You may be looking for a higher paying job or an “in” with a company and the person you are judging could either be the hiring manager or the connection to the right person that you need to speak to.

When judging someone from all sides, you gain tremendous power, and insight. Developing the skill of objective thinking can help you see all sides of a situation and make a better, more accurate judgement. Is your neighbor really an idiot, or was she just having a bad day?  (Maybe her child or her mom has cancer. Find out.)

Here is a brief checklist to help you manage your judgements.

  1. If you notice yourself judging someone,  then just notice it. Don’t be mad at yourself, it is natural. But the victory is disrupting it. Instead, choose a new action. Go introduce yourself. Find common ground with them. Offer to help them with something. Buy them a muffin (if they like muffins).
  2. Ask yourself why you are judging them. Typically negative judgements come from your past. Maybe the person in front of you looks like a mean neighbor you had as a child. Consider where the judgement came from. It can be fascinating to discover where a judgement came from.
  3. Validate the judgement. Engage with the person you are judging in an effort to prove yourself wrong. Be curious about them. Ask questions. Be kind and have empathy. Most of the time you’ll discover they are not who you think they are.

So now that you have some basic skills, it’s time to take this to the next level. What if you take the steps above and discover the person really is nasty or mean, or not someone you want to associate with.

You’ll need some tools to handle that. Join Awesome Life Club and learn how to turn enemies into allies.

How to easily get through an upsetting or ugly time in life

Time travelThe Time Travel Reality Hack

If you want to learn how to get through a tough time in life, then here’s an incredible reality hack that you can use to deal with a bad day or difficult situation.

I call it the the Time Travel From Upset tool or the TTFU tool.

If you think this seems crazy, then you are not alone. When I share this incredible method, some people think – at least initially – that it is silly. But trust me it works.

Now, I am not talking here about opening up a wormhole in the space time continuum and leaping through it into a future moment in time to escape a high level of stress, or an unpleasant situation, or even great sadness.

All those things are escapable with the TTFU, but we’re not messing with physics here. We are simply using the power of your mind and your consciousness and the human experience of time.

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Here is how it works.

First a bit of background and a small exercise:

I want you to jot down on a piece of paper what time you got up out of bed on June 6, 2011 or pick a date at least 6 years ago.

Don’t remember?

Ok, then how about this: What outfit did you wear on the afternoon of June 27, last year? Not sure? No peeking at photos or your calendar. Just use your memory.

Unless either of those dates were very special days, like your birthday, your anniversary, or the day you got a medal from the President of the United States (or which ever political leader runs your country if you are non-American) then there is a very good chance you have no clue.

Let’s make it easier. What did you have for breakfast last Tuesday? You can probably guess, but even a week ago it’s hard to remember details, even if you cooked the meal.

Frankly, I have a hard time remember what I did yesterday.

Ok, hopefully you got my point. Details, even basic details about your day are hard to recall, even as recently as 8, 10 or 12 hours ago. There are too many things to keep track of in life so the mundane daily details don’t matter.

So now, try this. What was the last fight you had with your spouse, or boyfriend or girlfriend? Or if you’re single, then recall a fight with a friend or coworker? You might remember the nature of it. But you couldn’t speak it word for word as if it were a script. Most human beings don’t have that level of recall. If something is emotionally charged, there might be a better chance of recalling details for a period of time. However, the memories don’t linger. They fade over time and in the course of a lifetime the may be erased by the brain’s natural process of reconfiguring itself.

Neuroscientists tell us that short term memory is really temporary. And long term memory is very coarse. Humans can remember places and events, and maybe a few details, and certainly general emotions. But not much more than that.

That’s really good news when you are going through a tough time. That’s because even though your present experience may be extremely unpleasant and even seemingly unbearable in the moment, it’s actually fleeting.

The secret is to remember that fact when you are suffering. All experiences are fleeting. Good, bad and indifferent. Time marches on. So this moment may be unbearable, but the next moment it may not be.

And if you are having the worst day of your life, you can use the Time Travel From Upset tool. Here’s what is to do.

  1. Acknowledge that you feel awful, or sad, or afraid, or miserable to yourself.
  2.  Now remember the information above. That time is fleeting. That unpleasantness is transient and that some point in the future, perhaps tomorrow, next week or in 93 days…you will experience that today’s unpleasantness will be the past. Things will have changed in your life.
  3. Project yourself into the future. Imagine yourself looking back on this unpleasant moment and imagine what it will be like looking back on this unpleasant day. You might feel relief. You might realize that it’s true that today is not the worst day ever. That it just felt that way. But your FUTURE SELF might smile at the naivety of the thought that today is the worst day of your life. And really it could be.
  4. IMPORTANT: The moment the day is over and you wake up the next day, become aware of the fact that yesterday – the worst day of your life – is gone and has been swept into the past. Celebrate that it’s over. And from you new vantage point in your yesterday’s future (now turned into your present), think about what happened.
  5. Remember again that that awful moment in time is gone and that suddenly you are in the future (yesterday’s future). Reflect on how easy it was it to suddenly arrive at “tomorrow”.
  6. You can shore up this process by doing it again a week later – recall your bad day in the past. And mark it in your calendar so you can remember it in a month’s time. You might even recall it three months later or a year later. This will demonstrate to yourself that suffering is temporary and time moves quickly. And the next time you have an upset or miserable moment, use this technique to travel in your mind into the future, and know that this present will soon be a distant and vague memory. This will become really easy after a while and you can use the technique to take the edge of any moment, event or circumstance that is upsetting.

I will leave you with this final story on how I used it in a very effective way in my life. More than six years ago (as I write this in 2016) I was going through a very uncomfortable and upsetting divorce. It dragged on for months and I could barely stand it day in day out. I had to live in a house with my very angry and uncommunicative soon to be ex-wife. But I reminded myself that it would pass, and soon the whole miserable experience would be in the past.

The divorce was negotiated several months later. I moved out. And fast forward to today, I married  Kay Walker (the gorgeous and brilliant founder of this website) and we have a fantastic toddler son. So that ugly upset, all those years ago, is now ancient history for me. The time I was longing for then, has now arrived. I live happy in my future. And the ugliness is behind me. That experience gives me the ability now to deal with any day of my life.  Time travel works. You just have to let it.

Would you like the TTFU worksheet? CLICK HERE or the button below, and join the Awesome Life Club and get the tool, plus tons more awesome life changing tools ( Joining the Awesome Life Club is free!)

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How to easily get through an upsetting or ugly time in life

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