If you want to learn how to get through a tough time in life, then here’s an incredible reality hack that you can use to deal with a bad day or difficult situation.
I call it the the Time Travel From Upset tool or the TTFU tool.
If you think this seems crazy, then you are not alone. When I share this incredible method, some people think – at least initially – that it is silly. But trust me it works.
Now, I am not talking here about opening up a wormhole in the space time continuum and leaping through it into a future moment in time to escape a high level of stress, or an unpleasant situation, or even great sadness.
All those things are escapable with the TTFU, but we’re not messing with physics here. We are simply using the power of your mind and your consciousness and the human experience of time.
Here is how it works.
First a bit of background and a small exercise:
I want you to jot down on a piece of paper what time you got up out of bed on June 6, 2011 or pick a date at least 6 years ago.
Ok, then how about this: What outfit did you wear on the afternoon of June 27, last year? Not sure? No peeking at photos or your calendar. Just use your memory.
Unless either of those dates were very special days, like your birthday, your anniversary, or the day you got a medal from the President of the United States (or which ever political leader runs your country if you are non-American) then there is a very good chance you have no clue.
Let’s make it easier. What did you have for breakfast last Tuesday? You can probably guess, but even a week ago it’s hard to remember details, even if you cooked the meal.
Frankly, I have a hard time remember what I did yesterday.
Ok, hopefully you got my point. Details, even basic details about your day are hard to recall, even as recently as 8, 10 or 12 hours ago. There are too many things to keep track of in life so the mundane daily details don’t matter.
So now, try this. What was the last fight you had with your spouse, or boyfriend or girlfriend? Or if you’re single, then recall a fight with a friend or coworker? You might remember the nature of it. But you couldn’t speak it word for word as if it were a script. Most human beings don’t have that level of recall. If something is emotionally charged, there might be a better chance of recalling details for a period of time. However, the memories don’t linger. They fade over time and in the course of a lifetime the may be erased by the brain’s natural process of reconfiguring itself.
Neuroscientists tell us that short term memory is really temporary. And long term memory is very coarse. Humans can remember places and events, and maybe a few details, and certainly general emotions. But not much more than that.
That’s really good news when you are going through a tough time. That’s because even though your present experience may be extremely unpleasant and even seemingly unbearable in the moment, it’s actually fleeting.
The secret is to remember that fact when you are suffering. All experiences are fleeting. Good, bad and indifferent. Time marches on. So this moment may be unbearable, but the next moment it may not be.
And if you are having the worst day of your life, you can use the Time Travel From Upset tool. Here’s what is to do.
- Acknowledge that you feel awful, or sad, or afraid, or miserable to yourself.
- Now remember the information above. That time is fleeting. That unpleasantness is transient and that some point in the future, perhaps tomorrow, next week or in 93 days…you will experience that today’s unpleasantness will be the past. Things will have changed in your life.
- Project yourself into the future. Imagine yourself looking back on this unpleasant moment and imagine what it will be like looking back on this unpleasant day. You might feel relief. You might realize that it’s true that today is not the worst day ever. That it just felt that way. But your FUTURE SELF might smile at the naivety of the thought that today is the worst day of your life. And really it could be.
- IMPORTANT: The moment the day is over and you wake up the next day, become aware of the fact that yesterday – the worst day of your life – is gone and has been swept into the past. Celebrate that it’s over. And from you new vantage point in your yesterday’s future (now turned into your present), think about what happened.
- Remember again that that awful moment in time is gone and that suddenly you are in the future (yesterday’s future). Reflect on how easy it was it to suddenly arrive at “tomorrow”.
- You can shore up this process by doing it again a week later – recall your bad day in the past. And mark it in your calendar so you can remember it in a month’s time. You might even recall it three months later or a year later. This will demonstrate to yourself that suffering is temporary and time moves quickly. And the next time you have an upset or miserable moment, use this technique to travel in your mind into the future, and know that this present will soon be a distant and vague memory. This will become really easy after a while and you can use the technique to take the edge of any moment, event or circumstance that is upsetting.
I will leave you with this final story on how I used it in a very effective way in my life. More than six years ago (as I write this in 2016) I was going through a very uncomfortable and upsetting divorce. It dragged on for months and I could barely stand it day in day out. I had to live in a house with my very angry and uncommunicative soon to be ex-wife. But I reminded myself that it would pass, and soon the whole miserable experience would be in the past.
The divorce was negotiated several months later. I moved out. And fast forward to today, I married Kay Walker (the gorgeous and brilliant founder of this website) and we have a fantastic toddler son. So that ugly upset, all those years ago, is now ancient history for me. The time I was longing for then, has now arrived. I live happy in my future. And the ugliness is behind me. That experience gives me the ability now to deal with any day of my life. Time travel works. You just have to let it.
Would you like the TTFU worksheet? CLICK HERE or the button below, and join the Awesome Life Club and get the tool, plus tons more awesome life changing tools ( Joining the Awesome Life Club is free!)