Author Archives: Kay Walker

questions that make you think

Questions that make you think

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Here’s a communication rule to consider: What you put out is what you receive. If you are angry. You’ll get anger back. If you are happy you will create happiness around you. If you feel guilt, you will create guilt. You always get back a response that matches the communication you put out. Commit this to memory. Remind yourself of this principle. It is a game-changer.  And one more thing. The communication you put out is linked to your internal dialogue, and how questions that make you think differently will change your life.

Let’s dive in.

questions that make you think

How questions that make you think differently will change your life

 You always get back a response that matches the communication you put out.  Let explain. When you communicate with any other human being the questions you ask, what you say and your tone will always be met with a response that aligns. Here’s a personal example to illustrate because I learned this concept in a difficult way…

I was training in a high-level coaching program from one of the world’s masters and that’s when this idea —  that you always get back a response that echoes the communication you put out —  was drilled into me. I was being trained on how to interact in coaching calls and how I communicate as coach will match the response I get. Asking the right question is everything. Speaking with the right tone is everything.

So, after an exhausting day of training and learning that “you always get back the response that matches the communication you put out”, I went back to my hotel room and as I did every night I called my husband and 3 year old son on Skype. The call upset me right away. My son was mad at me for a leaving for a few days. He didn’t want to talk to mommy. For a mom, this was a terrible experience and I immediately projected my anger onto my husband who was doing everything he could do be both a mom and dad for a few days while I was away.

I’m embarrassed to say what I said to my incredible husband. He really is the best dad you could ever have. But I did it. I said this about our son: “He’s not a piece of furniture, he’s a kid!”

That’s when I really learned the concept that had been drilled into me that day. I said something nasty to my husband out of anger. I dug deep. I pushed a button. And of course, a fight ensued. I learned my lesson, oh boy. I got a nasty response. Nasty = nasty!

This is also true…if you’re nice, you get back nice. If you communicate love to someone, you get back love. If you say something nasty, you get back nasty. You get what you give when you communicate. You create the quality of all the relationships in your life.  What this means is that you are in control of the quality of all your relationships. At any point, you can change them in positive ways simply by being what you want to get back. Which is where asking of yourself questions that make you think differently will make a difference.

Questions you ask yourself in romantic relationships

Consider what commonly happens in romantic relationships. At the beginning the question you ask yourself is: “How can I make this person happy?” or “What can I do to make this person love me?” . Naturally, all your actions at the beginning are centered around making the other person happy. Over time what often happens is the questions change. The quality of the relationship changes too. Many people start to ask themselves “How can I get what I want?” or “How can I change this person?” (see also: 100 questions for couples to ask each other)

At the root of all your communication are the questions you ask yourself internally. The best way to improve the quality of your relationships or to influence others and get the outcomes you want is to be aware of your internal dialogue. Understand how questions the make you think differently will change your life.

The question I asked myself before I said the terrible line “He’s not a piece of furniture he’s a kid.” was “How come he [my husband] didn’t listen to me?”. Before I left I had put together a schedule and it involved playdates out with my son. I was mad that my husband didn’t listen to me. The entire fight was not really about the care he was providing to our son. We argued about the latter but it was really about me not getting my way.

But what if I had noticed my internal dialogue and asked a different question. A question like: “How can I help my husband?” or “How can I improve this situation for them at home and me here?”.  Asking this question would have had me take a different approach.

It’s not just in relationships with other people that the questions you ask yourself matter, it’s also important around your relationship with YOU! When you fail do you say this to yourself: “How could you have let this happen?!” or do you take an inquisitive and less self-blaming stance and say “How did this happen? If I understand what the breakdown was I can learn for next time”.

When someone does something mean to you do you say: “How could he/she!?” or do you ask “I wonder what made them act like that? I wonder what’s going on in their life?”

When you feel lost or stuck in your direction in life do you ask: “Why doesn’t anything work out for me? Or do you ask “What’s trying to emerge in my life? What can I learn from this? What’s next for me?”

How to change the questions you ask yourself

The first step in changing your internal dialogue is to NOTICE it. Tune into what your saying. Don’t let yourself just run on autopilot. It might help if you write down what’s in your head. Sometimes the simple act of getting on paper will allow you to see what’s playing in your head.

As a general rule if you find yourself asking a lot of WHY questions, such as  “Why did this happen?” “Why is this person being so unreasonable” “Why do I never get what I want”, you are being a victim of your circumstances. You are stuck in your past. This will never help you move forward and get what you want. The minute you notice you’re using WHY questions it’s time to interject and ask a new question.

It’s important to remember that what you think/believe will cause you take take action and it will produce either negative or positive results. And the best way to get what you want and to have more positive in your life is stepping in and being in control of your thoughts.

When you notice you have negative dialogue streaming in your head and you’re having trouble shutting it off or believing something else, the first thing to do is go do something that feels good physically and puts you in a better mood.

Go for a walk or for a run. Put some music on and dance. Take a hot bath. Get a massage. Put yourself in a relaxed state of feeling good. Changing your physical state is the quickest way to get yourself thinking more rationally and more positively.

Then, when you are in a better mood, ask yourself: What do I want to achieve? What more empowering question could I ask right now?

When you do this you’ll start to reframe your entire situation. You’ll start to give yourself some breathing room. You’ll start to see new actions you could take immediately.

The state you want to be in is one of inquiry. Become curious. Imagine you’re a fly on the wall watching you and other people. And the fly is curious. The fly is considering what could I do to make this better, improve the situation achieve the positive outcomes I want.

Questions to ask in the worst of times

When someone is being nasty towards you or when you’re mad at someone here are some empowering questions you might want to ask yourself…

  • What’s going on in this person’s life that’s making them act this way?
  • How can I help this person?
  • How can I make this person feel better?
  • What am I contributing to this situation?
  • How can I change their behavior by changing mine?
  • What’s going in my life that’s making me act this way?
  • How do I want this relationship to go?
  • What can I do to have this relationship be what I want?
  • What does this person need?
  • What do I need?
  • What quality is missing in this relationship and what can I do to cause it?

Questions to ask when you are stuck, feeling hopeless around life and your direction

  • What can I learn from this experience?
  • What little thing can I do today to make myself feel better?
  • What’s trying to unfold in my life?
  • What am I not being grateful for?
  • What do I love and feel passionate about?
  • What can I do that’s fun?
  • What can I do to get inspired?
  • Who can I confide in that would make me feel better?
  • What’s missing right now for me that’s having me feel this way?
  • What’s a new action I haven’t taken that I could take?

Questions to ask when something bad happens to you, like a major failure

  • What was missing that led to the failure?
  • What could I put in next time that would increase my chances of winning?
  • What is there for me to learn from this?
  • How can I benefit from this failure?
  • What did I do well/what did work about this situation?
  • How can this failure make me a better person?
  • What can I teach others about this situation?
  • How can the world or other people benefit from my failure?

Refer to this list of questions when you need to. Or create your own. Don’t let yourself succumb to negative thoughts. The more you train your brain to ask empowering questions, the more it will become routine for you. It’s like building a muscle. It takes effort. It’s not easy at first but after a while it becomes second nature.

Getting what you want in life starts with you. You are the controller of your thoughts and what you think and believe is directly linked to your actions and behavior. Think better and you’ll act better. Act in more favorable ways and you’ll get more of the results you want and less of what you don’t want. So what is next? Create a list of questions that make you think differently that you can refer to until it becomes second nature.

how to get a life that inspires you

How to get a life that inspires you

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Take a moment right now to take stock of your current life. Are you inspired? Does every aspect of your life align with what you authentically want and value? Do you wake up most days and think: “Pinch me! Is this really my life?”. Or have you been feeling a little less enthused or frustrated with one or more aspects of your life lately? Read on to learn how to get a life that inspires you and how to start the journey today.

how to get a life that inspires you

How to get a life that inspires you

Most people are conditioned to believe they need to achieve things to be successful. That the job will make them happy. Or the relationship. Or more money and wealth. Most people learn to be externally gratified. It’s ingrained in our culture. We learn to feel good about ourselves when we receive external gratification and this happens from a very young age. We feel happy with ourselves when we achieve the A+ grade. Or because we have a certain brand of clothing. Or because we look a certain way, or live in a specific area.

Thinking this way will certainly land you into a life that may look “successful” but isn’t fulfilling. It’s possible to be successful and not fulfilled. This happens when you’re focused on what you need to achieve and not from a place of considering: “What do I want to EXPERIENCE in my life?”

Being fulfilled is an emotional experience. So the best way to build a life that inspires you, one that you love, is to consider what you want from an experiential level versus thinking using your rational mind. Before you go after what you think you want, you want to shut down your rational thinking process (your left brain thinking) and tune into your emotional side (your right brain thinking).

What you can do today to move closer to your dream life…

Step 1: Decide what you want using your right brain thinking processes and your emotions to guide you

The key to building a life you love is to key into your deep desires and passions, and once again, to think from an emotional level by asking the question: “What do I want to experience?”

You can turn your rational thinking processes down by daydreaming. Imagine what you want in all areas of your life. Take some quiet time to think by yourself. Ask yourself “What do I want to experience in my career?…relationships?…physical health?… And then, daydream about what you want. Step into what you think you’d like to experience in your mind. Start to build a framework. Really try to feel what it would be like to be in your future, experiencing what you want.

You’ll get excited. You’ll get moved deeply. You’ll feel emotionally ignited when you start to build a future that inspires you. When you feel excited and moved by something you imagine it’s a signal that this is something you’d really like to experience and a goal you should move towards.

Here’s the incredible thing about visualizing: Your brain doesn’t know the difference between you imagining doing something and actually physically doing it! This means, you could take a bite of a juicy orange fresh from a tree or imagine it and you would salivate. Your brain goes through the same mental processes.

So, seeing a future you want is the first step to deciding what you really want. Once you know in your heart what excites you and a goal you want to move towards then you can do the next most important step.

Step 2: Get rational and realistic about where you are and what you need to do next

Once you’ve imagined and explored what you want (in as specific terms as possible) and you’ve decided on what it is, then you need to get realistic about it. When you think rationally, you’ll pull your left brain thinking processes back into the picture. This is an important part of the process because now you start to see how your dreams could be realized in reality.

At this point, it’s time to consider where you’d like to be in the near future – the goals you’d like to achieve – and contrast it with where you are now. It’s important to evaluate where you are and where you’d like to get to using measurable and specific variables.

For instance, let’s say you want to lose 15 lbs in three months. If you’re 200 lbs now, then within 15 lbs to have met your goal you’d be 185 lbs. Once you have measurements you’ll need to ask yourself: “What structures do I need to put in to realize this goal?”

In this case, perhaps you’d need to enroll in a fitness class or learn new ways to eat.Consider what you need and schedule in times to take the actions that will get you the result you want.

Creating a structure – planning, scheduling work – is critical to achieving what you want with velocity. So write your thoughts down. Start to build a framework. Set aside a bit of time (30 minutes is really all you need) of quiet time to plan and review your plan each week.

Step 3: Take action

Do you spend more time thinking about what you want to achieve or taking the actions to actually get it? Most people get too caught up in introspection – thinking about what they might want or what happened in the past – versus getting into action.

Remember that actions = results. No action = no results!

Once you start taking action towards your dreams – even if it’s a very minor action – you’ll start to get excited and feel amazing. At that point, you’ll feel more energized and compelled to take more actions.

Taking action is also the fastest way to know if your plan works. Are you doing the right things to get what you want or do you need to change it up? It’s also important that you notice what you’re doing and if it’s working or not. A great strategy always involves reviewing and tweaking. Use action as a metric to rate your progress.

Step 4: Be persistent, stay committed and keep your “eye on the prize”

How do you be persistent? Well, it’s starts with deeply wanting your dream. When you know to 100% that you want to achieve a dream, to experience an aspect of your life in a specific way then it’ll be harder for you not to go after your dream. You’ll feel compelled. Anytime you consider quitting you’ll get more determined.

When you’re working towards achieving a dream and you’re in the process of building, it’s most important you keep yourself motivated by focusing daily on the outcomes you’re committed to achieving. What is it that you want? More importantly, WHY do you want it? What’s the reason you’re doing all this?

It helps to create a “Why List”. Write down all the reasons you want what you want. Make it exhaustive. Do this at the beginning when you decide you want something. Anytime you don’t feel motivated you can go back to your list. You can remind yourself of why you are doing what you’re doing. This will help fuel you into action. It will help you stay focused and committed.

Let’s say you’re working to get a startup off the ground and that the potential of the startup will make a difference for the world and make you millions. But let’s say you find yourself one day feeling really negative about everything you’re day. Maybe you’ve been working on this start up for three years. Maybe you’re uncertain it will ever go the way you want. Well, in that moment it’s critical you reflect on why you’re doing what you’re doing.

What are the reasons you want what you want? Maybe you want millions so you can build a family or be involved in more projects that change the world. Maybe at the point you’re at, you simply like money so you can afford a better way of life? Consider all the whys. Make an exhaustive list. This will help you stay motivated.

We are meant to be inspired by our lives. We are meant to make a difference. We are meant to contribute. Realizing all this starts with you. It’s starts with you being fulfilled. It starts with you saying: “That’s it. I’m living this life and putting my fulfillment first.”

Being inspired is what life’s all about. If you’re not fulfilled or working towards what you want you’re stagnating. Remember that progress = happiness. When you’re moving towards what you want you’ll feel invigorated and fulfilled. Start today. Getting a life that inspires you starts now and it starts with you.

The first action might be just to do Step 1 of this list. Then, keep going. You got this. And your dreams are possible.

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to amp it up

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to amp it up

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Suffering from no energy? Feel tapped out? Exhausted? Sluggish? At the end of the day do you want to just sack out on the couch.

You may be super inspired to get more done, move your life forward and start a business, write a book, renovate your home or volunteer your time. Most people have at least one key project that they want to get done, but there is a often one thing in the way to getting it done.

Think of one major accomplishment you’d like to achieve in the near future? Got it?

What do you think is in the way? What’s the number one reason you have for why you don’t have what you want? Is it… Time? Money? Willpower? There is one sneaky culprit that most people never consider. And this one affects all the other variables. The most common big, bad, dream-killing culprit is: No energy.

At the end of the day, you probably don’t have any reserves to take that next step, get in action and get your pet project started.

Low energy, or no energy is the culprit

Most people are just tapped out. They don’t have the energy to start one more task, even if they are inspired to get it done. Low energy, or no energy is the culprit.

Energy is your baseline. It’s a critical force, such that if lost all your energy, you’d have nothing. You’ll understand this if you’ve ever been acutely or chronically sick…or cared for someone in that condition.

When you operate your life on no energy, your ability to get things done is seriously hampered. You don’t want to work. Your thinking becomes foggy. It’s hard to focus. You may even want to avoid other people when you’re energetically tapped out. That’s energy loss at its worst.

However, most people take their energy stores for granted. They don’t realize they are operating  with very low energy. In fact, most people use energy boosting substances to try to charge themselves up to generate more energy. Things like: Caffeine, sugar, or in some cases pharmaceuticals or narcotics.

It’s not your fault if you fall into that camp. Most of us use artificial stimulants like caffeine or sugar.  We don’t have the facts straight on the best ways to amp up our energy stores. Here’s why: Few people are properly educated on how to feel more energized.

How to get your energy back

Read on and you’ll learn some very simple ways to up amp up your energy levels. You’ll see how you can get more done, and feel one thousand times better in body, mind and spirit.

What does that means for your life? Perhaps, an extra couple hours at the end of your work day to jump into that project you’ve been thinking about, but you’ve been too tired to put into action. Or more energy might simply heighten your level of thinking and focus so you can perform better in all areas of your life.  When you feel energetically awesome, you really become unstoppable.

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to boost energy stores

No energy? 6 Surprisingly simple ways to amp it up

Energy Booster 1: Drink more water

Your body is made up of 75% water. You have 75% water in your muscles. Your bones are 25% water. Water is a life sustaining solvent. It regulates the functions of all your systems.

If you feel like you have no energy one of the simplest energy boosters is to drink more water. You’ve likely been told that before. Are you doing it? If not, what’s in the way for you? If you hate the taste, inject your water with fruit or citrus. Make it interesting. As a general rule you should be drinking 4 pints, or about 2 litres, of water per day. If you drink a lot of juice, coffee or soda you’ll need to drink even more. Sugary drinks or caffeinated beverages are energy suckers. You’ll also want to cut back on caffeine, sugar and alcohol. These can be hard to do, but it’s rewarding if you can make small to moderate changes.

Here’s what happens when you consume sugar, caffeine or alcohol: You’ll get a surge in energy from your glucose levels spiking and dopamine (a happy brain chemical) flooding your brain. The surge will bring you high and then drop you really low. Your body will react by feeling even less energized and craving more sugar, caffeine or alcohol.

No 1 energy booster is water

Water is a major energy booster. Infuse it with fruit to make it interesting

When it comes to drinking more water it’s about balance and conditioning. If you’re not an avid water drinker and the mere idea is a turn off then start to replace one drink per day with a glass of water. Continue to up your water consumption and minimize your sugar, caffeine, alcohol consumption each week. It’s about incremental progress. This is also because your brain and body have gotten used to your routine. So don’t freak your body out because you’re cravings will get worse. Just slowly replace and balance. Pretty quickly you’ll find it makes a mega difference. You may even find you become a water-aholic. (It happened to me. I was a former “I hate water, it’s boring” kinda person. Now I always have a glass nearby and I love how I feel).

Energy Booster 2: Move your body gently

While I was writing this article I started to feel a bit lethargic. I felt like I had no energy.  I was having trouble focusing, keeping my eyes opened and felt like I needed a boost. So what did I do? Instead of reaching for a coffee or a candy bar, I stood up and put on some music (“The Club Can’t Handle Me Right Now” by Flo Rida, to be exact) and I shook my booty. I danced around my home office to get my heart rate up and put myself in a good mood. It took me probably less time than it would have taken if I went downstairs to grab a sugary snack or drink and I immediately felt energized. I jumped back into my writing and made quick progress.

If you work in an office where everyone is watching you, a bit of boogie at your desk may not be possible. You might have to leave the area and go for a short brisk walk for a 5-minutes instead. Getting your heart rate up makes an immediate difference. You don’t have to do much. Simply raising your arms up and thrusting them back down toward your shoulders while you breathe in and out will do the trick. Do 30 reps and you’ll feel an immediate difference. Try and take in as much and expel as much air as possible. Do it now even and you’ll feel a difference.

The important thing to remember is when it comes to energy: You get back what you generate.

If you want to increase your energy levels do more aerobic activity. Running (and not too hard, intensely enough that you could carry on a conversation), biking, swimming, yoga, these are all great activities that will amp up your energy levels versus suck them dry. This is because when you engage in aerobic fitness your body uses glycogen and fat as fuel. On the other hand, anaerobic activities – such as weight lifting, sprinting and Crossfit – are great for building muscle but they can be massive energy warping activities. When you engage in anaerobics oxygen is not present so you use glycogen as fuel. Within two hours you can deplete all your glycogen stores and you’ll hit a wall. Bottom line is: Do more aerobic activity!

Get your heart rate up, but don’t overwork your system. Many people sit at a desk all day and then kill themselves at the gym with anaerobic exercise. Instead, maximize your energy and go for a light run or brisk walk or yoga instead. Know your personal fitness goals and balance the two — aerobics and anaerobics — for best results.

Energy Booster 3: Eat a bit less and eat smart

Most people eat more than they need to. Eating is necessary and important, but what most people don’t consider is that digesting food is an energy draining activity. The more you eat during a meal, the more energy it takes to process it. Think of how tired you feel after you eat a giant meal during the holidays. When you stuff your face (which we all do, and happily, from time to time) you may quickly feel like you have no energy after the meal. All you want to do is rest. On the flip side, if you’ve ever been on a liquid cleanse you may have noticed that you had more energy. Veggies and fruits take the least amount of time to digest.

Be cognizant of the foods you eat and the amounts. Some foods take larger amounts of energy to digest than others. Protein and fat take the most time to digest. Carbs take little time but carbs that are not complex – white rice, white bread, pasta – are quick to digest but will raise your blood sugar levels which can lead to a major rise and fall in energy. As a general rule (sorry if you don’t love this idea) eat more veggies and fruits. When you eat protein eat more of it from seafood or grains like quinoa. Don’t be afraid of carbs just be smart about them. Don’t eat white carbs, eat whole grains.

Another quick tip on the food front: Eat more pickled foods like kimchi and sauerkraut. They will help you digest your food fast!

Energy Booster 4: Breathe consciously when you need an energy boost

Raise your arms to the level of your head. Pull them to your shoulders and when you do breathe out as hard as you can (snot might come out of your nose so watch out, but that’s when you know you’re doing this right). Then pump your arms back to your and inhale. Do this 30 times. Repeat the sequence until your heart is pumping.

Raising your hands and dropping them is critical because it will get your heart rate up and blood flowing. That’s what you want to have happen. You can do this anytime when you feel you have no energy. Ever been driving a far distance but you’re getting tired? Don’t stop for a coffee or soda, pull over and do this instead. Or, next time you’re working on a project and you’re feeling fatigued, try this for a quick boost.

Energy Booster 5: Be around people

Simply being in an environment near other people — like at a Starbucks — can be good for your energy levels. Positive interactions with people or even just being around people can amp up your energy massively. Your brain surges with dopamine when you make contact with other human beings. The dopamine increase is healthy. It is natural and similar to what your brain does on cocaine. Being around people packs a massive energy punch. Take a moment to think back to a time in your life with friends or family where you just had an awesome time. Think about how awesome you felt!

The important part with this energy amping rule is to be with people that are positive and not negative energy suckers. Spend time with people you like or go sit in an environment in public with strangers. If you’ve got someone to cuddle up with that’s great too. Go give your partner or kid a hug or cuddle. You’ll get a boost of oxytocin to the brain. It’s another happy energy-boosting neurochemical. If you don’t have someone around to cuddle, go get a massage. Human touch makes you feel good and energized.

Energy Amper 6: Find inspiration

What do you love to do for fun? When’s the last time you had an adventure? Go learn something new or engage in activity that’s fun for the sake of fun and has no real purpose. Lose your mind in a fun activity. If you’re really focused you’ll get in a state of flow. When you activate flow your energy levels will soar. You’re brain will flood with great new ideas.

You don’t even have to go do something to get inspired. You can simple close your eyes and daydream about a future goal you want to achieve. See yourself there and celebrating. Get into your daydream and feel how you would feel if you were there. This will give you an immediately boost of happiness and energy. And to boot, you don’t have to go anywhere. Thinking about grateful moments, or having fun or achieving awesome goals in your future will have you get excited. When you open your eyes you’ll have more energy and feel propelled to get into action.

Energy killers to limit or avoid

Life is about balance. It’s pretty tough for you to rid yourself of energy killers completely (Actually, it is next to impossible). But be cognizant of them and limit them. Balance them with the energy amping activities above and you’ll be a higher performer in all areas of your life.

  • Sugar. Get rid of sugar in your diet as much as you can. When you do eat sugar stick to natural sources like honey. Or low glycemic replacements like agave syrup. Don’t eat sugar substitutes (They are even worse!). No matter how disciplined you are around sugar, once in awhile eat that piece of cake or ice cream. Do not deprive yourself. You will be miserable.
  • Caffeine. I LOVE coffee so this one is tough for me. If you consume caffeine get it from natural sources (coffee or tea, not energy drinks). Balance your caffeine intake with plenty of water.
  • Alcohol. Same rules as caffeine apply.
  • Energy drinks and boosting substances. There are packed with sugar. If you like them, drink them in moderation. Studies show they may not be good for you.
  • Engaging in activities you hate. We all have to do things we hate sometimes (ie. reconciling company books or house cleaning) but do your best to limit these. If you HATE your job, this might be your call to action. We spend a third of our lives at work. If you hate what you do, you are robbing yourself of joy and sucking your energy dry.
  • Avoid negative people. Whether it’s friends, coworkers, neighbors or family, for the most part who you spend the majority of your time with is critical. Spend time with people that lift you up, inspire you and are good for you. Limit your exposure to negative people. Be nice to them when you are around them, but don’t be generous with the energy you spend on them. Negative people are parasites on your energy. Lots of negativity equals no energy.
  • Absorbing negative or useless information. Avoid taking in information on the Internet or TV (like the news) that has no value or is negative. It takes up useful space in your brain to think about valuable things.
  • Avoid hyper intense workouts. Multiple studies conducted on the oldest and healthiest people in the world (superagers) reveals that their physical activity is aerobic and not anaerobic. Remember that anaerobics can drain your energy. So exercise briskly, but don’t over do it.  You should be able to talk as you exercise. This will keep you in the aerobic range. Light running, brisk walking or other pulse boosting activities are ideal. They also burn fat better than anaerobic exercise.
  • Worry or stress. When you find yourself worrying or stressing about things that haven’t happened or thinking about the past too much, divert your attention. What you focus on and the thought you expend around negative stressful things will suck your energy stores dry. Your body uses glucose to think. Also, if you’re thinking negatively your cortisol level (a stress hormone) levels soars then crashes. So be cognizant of what you’re thinking about and when. Don’t let it contribute to you having no energy.

No energy equals no quality of life

Remember that the amount of energy you have equals your quality of life. So, no energy leads to lack of progress, lethargy, fatigue, lack of inspiration and ideas. When you have ample energy you become laser-focused, more productive and you feel happier. It might be worth it to apply some of the information you read in this article right away. Start small. Incremental progress and small chances overtime are the key.

How to keep going when times are tough

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Visionaries, leaders and entrepreneurs often talk about the importance of being perseverant. It’s that quality that allows you to keep going when you’re in pursuit of your greatest dreams and times get tough. Many say it’s the antidote that separates the winners from the rest. But, how do you keep going when every fiber of you wants to quit sometimes? So, what do you need to keep being persist and  keep going after you’ve suffered a major failure, setback or roadblock? How to keep going when times are tough is about learning how to control your thoughts and attitude when you want to quit though your heart tells you have to keep going…

9 Tips for how to persevere so you can keep going 

1. Shift how you feel by doing something physical

When times are tough it’s easy to feel hopeless, lost, angry or sad. It’s easy to feel one or more negative emotions. And being in a negative emotional funk will not help you get in action. Being negative won’t help you move forward. So the first thing to do is go to work on YOU.

You can change how you feel with velocity (sometimes in a little time as what it takes to snap your fingers!). The fastest way to feel more powerful and to put yourself into a “I can conquer all” mindset is to get moving. Physically move and engage your body.

Go for a run. Take a cold shower. Jump up and down on a trampoline. Go lift some weights. Shake your booty or dance. Send a surge of energy through your body by moving it. It’s the fastest way to get yourself in a better mood and state of mind. Even simply doing reps of breathing, pulling your hands from the sky towards your body while you take strong breaths will help you feel better.

A secondary mood shifting technique is to use your innate powers for daydreaming. Close your eyes and daydream.Think about a time when you felt happy and really see yourself there. Think about a time or something in your life that you’re grateful for. Then, see yourself in the future achieving what you’re working towards now. See yourself winning and when you do (if there is no one around) shout “yes!”.

The more you get into your daydream (do your best to feel like you’re really there) the more you’ll feel awesome. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between actually doing something and visualizing doing something. It’s like a virtual reality trip you can take from anywhere at anytime to feel anything whenever you want.

2. Remind yourself of WHY you want to keep going

Let’s say you’re an entrepreneur and you’re on a mission to have your business be a global success. You’ve spent years working on your brand, your website, your products. You have an incredible brand but it’s not getting seen by enough people.

And so, you find yourself in a period of frustration. You become a walking cloud of doubt. In your heart, you believe in your company, but you are starting to think “maybe I should quit?”, “maybe this isn’t meant to be”. You feel lost and stuck.  These are signs you’re in the thick of a tough time.

At this point it’s critical you remind yourself WHY you’re doing what you’re doing. Keep your whys close always but especially when times gets tough. There is never one reason why  so make an exhaustive list. Keep asking yourself until you run out of reasons. It might look something like this:

My whys to keep forging ahead with this business and make it a success…

  • I want to make a global difference in my field
  • I want to love what I do every day
  • I NEVER want to work for anyone again. 
  • I want every person in this world to have the tools they need to live the life of their dreams and my business will support them.
  • I want to experience what it’s like to be a multi-millionaire and be financially free 
  • I want to build my dream home one day and live their with my beautiful family
  • I want to teach my kids how to build successful businesses
  • I want to be asked to be a keynote speaker
  • I want to experience speaking in front of thousands of people
  • I have to keep going. There is no other way. Making this business work is like breathing. 
  • I want others to see that their dreams are possible.

3. Zoom out then hyper zoom in

Once you’ve reminded yourself of what you want and why you want it you’ve done the work to globally zoom out to the bigger picture of your mission. After that, shift your focus and hyper zoom in to one task.

Choose ONE basic task you need to complete and throw yourself into it. Block out all distractions. Do your best to throw all your attention on that task. Completing that task will get you out of feeling hopeless and back into action mode.

Action produces results. Action also creates traction when you’re stuck. Action causes momentum. You’ll often find you are ready and feeling better to take the next action.

4. Just do it – Take action even when you don’t feel like it 

At any point you find yourself wondering: “how do I get myself motivated to get in action?” you’re killing your productivity potential. You are majorly slowing down your progress! You’re making a mistake that a lot of people make. You’ve collapsed action with emotion. Theses two don’t need to be aligned.

Think about it… have you ever done something that was good for you but that you didn’t necessarily feel like doing. Have you ever gotten out of bed when you didn’t want to? No way! You mean, you  put two feet on the floor even when you didn’t feel like it? You’ve also likely gone to work when you didn’t feel like it.

The thing to get is, you can feel hopeless and still take an action that would forward your life in the direction you want it to go. You don’t need to feel inspired. And, you don’t need to feel happy. You don’t even need to feel any positive emotion that would motivate you. Take action anyway.

This is the biggest ingredient of the whole perseverance puzzle. Winners just keep going even when they don’t feel like it but know it’s good for them. So keep going

5. Seek inspiration from winners who’ve failed and persevered

If you really want some motivation a great way to get it easily is by reading or watching a biography. Hearing the stories of people who have gone through what you’re going through and triumphed can give you a boost.

6. Stay in your lane

Focus on your journey, your goal, and nobody else’s. Do your best to put your blinders on and hunker down. Look ahead to your future. Forget what other people are doing or saying.

7. Go get some love from another human being

Go hug someone you love. Talk to a friend on the phone. Recreationally complain if you need to. Go to a public area and be with people. Book yourself in for a massage. The touch of another human is magically relaxing. It’ll help you ease the fears, the stress, the struggle you’re feeling. You’ll quickly learn you are not alone.

8. Applaud the small victories

Take stock of what you’ve done. Notice even the smallest of victories. Celebrate them. They are a big deal.

9. Perseverance conditioning

If you really want to hone your ability and learn how to keep going when times are tough, condition yourself to do things that are mentally and physically challenging on a regular basis. You’ll train yourself to be unstoppable in the face of the circumstances and obstacles that come your way.

Whatever source story you believe in, this is the perfect time to remind yourself that the Universe has a plan for you. You’re life is unfolding the way it should. The hardships you’re going through now will make you stronger and wiser. Keep going when the times are tough and soon you’ll be able to look back and be thankful you did.

How to fix your life when you’ve hit rock bottom

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If you’re in a space with your life right now where you are feeling lost, or confused, or completely stuck, this article will help you figure out how to fix your life when you’ve hit rock bottom. It might happen once or multiple times. Most people experience one or more hit rock bottom moments over the course of their life. Free yourself with a few simple steps.

 

How to fix your life when you’ve hit rock bottom

The good news about hitting rock bottom is the only place to go is up. Especially the more rock bottom you are. Think of it this way, if you have financial issues and you file for bankruptcy there’s no worse situation you can achieve. So consider you’re in a life bankruptcy stage. There’s likely far more opportunities for you to go up right now than down at this stage of your life. Simply shifting your thinking to this realization might make you feel a tad better.

Also, consider that the more loss you suffer, the more pain you go through, the more you get to a place of nothing where you can create newly want you want for your life. The more crap you go through, the more beaten down you get by circumstances, the more mentally resilient and open you become to new opportunities.

When you’ve got nothing to lose you can create everything. The world opens up for you. This is because your mental state goes from being super rational and calculated and you just get in action. It’s a bit of a throw shit at the wall to see what sticks mentality you pick up. It’s why many of the visionaries of the world have suffered major trauma and adversity. This time in your life is a badge of honor. A new world and a better you is trying to emerge.

1. Discover, explore, decide and commit

This is the time in your life to mentally “regroup” and do some deep thinking work. It’s time to ask yourself:

What do you really, deeply want your life to be about? What do you want to achieve? What do you want to experience? From there build out what you need to do now to start taking the steps to get there.

If you have no clue or some clue of what you want start getting curious. Get googling. Research what you want. This is the perfect time to take stock. Shift your focus from what you want to change now to getting into a head space of daydreaming and imagining. When you relinquish your control of how you’d like things to go and get into a space of simply, thinking, imagining, daydreaming, that’s when inspiration and ideas about what to do next will start to formulate. Instinctively, you’ll start to know what to do.

This might sound like airy fairy advice but it’s not. Amazing things happen when you let your mind wander. It’s scientifically proven that creative connections happens when you’re not focusing on anything. Your brain goes into a mode of thinking called your Default Mode Network. This is when inspiration will strike you. Clarity will come.

When you’re inner voice or your gut or the Universe (whatever you prefer to call the pangs of intuition we all experience) strike that’s when it’s time to listen and notice. Start to start to see how you can start to take you dreams, the ideas you have for what you want in life and make them happen in reality. What are some small and simple first steps you could take to move forward.

That’s when it’s time to decide on at least one action. Then commit to taking it by scheduling the action or telling one or more people what you’re going to do. Doing this helps you create an accountability structure. It helps you take your ideas from concept to reality.

2. Build out a tangible (and basic) strategy

When you want something that you don’t have it helps to have a plan how to achieve it. Having a paln sketched out will give you a guide, direction and clarity. It will also make you feel good or excited. Because now you’ve figured out what you want and some starters actions to take to get there.

If you don’t know how to get what you want find someone you can model. Learn from people who have been there before. It’s the simplest and fastest way to figure out what to do to get what you want. What are some resources you can tap into right away?

Building an action plan is critical. A lot of people keep their ideas in their head. Capturing your ideas is important because it’s easy to lost them. When you lose direction you can always come back to a plan that’s written down.

A simple way to decide what to do is to draw a horizontal line on a piece of paper. At the end of the line write down an outcome you want to achieve. At the front of the line write down your starting point, where you are now in life. Then plot in any actions that come to mind that you can take immediately and in the near future to start progressing.

3. Take action

Once you have a vague or clear idea of the actions to take all there is for you to do is take them. Setup support structures. Schedule time frames to complete your actions. Tell people what you’re going to do. They will keep you accountable because they’ll ask you if you’ve done what you said.

Learn how to overcome fear and master your habits. These are the two major biological barriers that will get in your way of taking action. You’re physical urges are often more powerful than you’re rational mind. Train your mind to be the master.

4. Evaluate and tweak

Once you start taking action you’ll start to produce new results! Yippee! Whether the results you produce move you forward or set you back it’s good. Use the information you receive from taking action as a feedback mechanism. If what you do moves you closer to what you want then do more. If it moves you away then do less.

No matter what you do, the best advice is to: Use your adversity to your advantage. The shit you go through makes you stronger. If you use, learn from, and use personal power you gain from going through tough times you’ll be able to achieve greater success.