Let’s face it, when you are confident about yourself (and your abilities), it feels amazing. I’m sure you’d agree with that statement. In moments of confidence, we feel invincible, and we act accordingly.
On the flip side, a lack of confidence gets in the way of your ability to seize major opportunities and express yourself in all areas of life.
In the book, The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance, co-authors Claire Shipman and Katty Kay goes as far as to say that confidence is:
“life’s enabler — it is the quality that turns thoughts into action.”
And taking action is crucial. It’s one of the only ways you make progress in all areas of life.
Without confidence, you could end up living a very small unfulfilled life. And that’s not you. Well, it’s not anybody. All humans are meant to be involved in life. To have fun. To feel. To enjoy. To be fully self-expressed.
So, lack of confidence, no more! Here are three methods you can use to gain confidence in any moment when you lose it. Use whichever one you like and feel works for a given situation.
There are two free tools you can grab below. A template for building your own Awesome You List and a guide called: 12 Ways to Be Confident On-Demand.
And if you think they are silly or seem weird the first time you try them, stay with them. You’ll abandon that they are “silly”, and will get the tremendous results using them.
Be Confident on Demand – 3 Easy Methods
#1 – Build yourself an ‘Awesome You’ list:
Spend some time alone building a list that expresses why you are an incredible person. Make sure you have the list handy, that you can pull it up easily from your mobile phone, for example.
In times where don’t feel confident step away from what you are doing and read your awesome you list. It will help you become grounded in how powerful you are and the contribution you have to give.
What’s important is that when you build the list you brag about all the great qualities you have and your accomplishments. Indulge your ego! Write down all the reasons why you believe you’re awesome.
It can be anything from: “I take great pride in the way I look. I love my long brown hair”, to “I’m proud of the business I built two years ago and how it’s succeeded”, to “I’m an incredible mother. I bake cookies for my son, I play with him everyday, I make an effort to be with him each day”.
If you have trouble generating your list you can query someone you have a close relationship with. Ask them why you are great. They might be able to tell you better than you can tell yourself. And when they do, listen and don’t dispute what they say.
Humans are great at ruining their positives traits with negative thoughts. Don’t let those run the show. The entire point of the list is for it to be used as a tool that reminds of your strengths. It’s meant to be a personal “cheerleader” for you at all times.
Personally, I use my awesome you list before I speak or am interviewed or before I meet people for the first time. It helps me shake off the nerves and reminds me that I am a valuable asset to all situations.
#2 – Character Modeling:
What if you were in a moment where you lacked confidence and you could immediately shift from being you to being the person you think is the ideal person for that situation? Like, you’re about to step on stage but you’re a pile of nerves because you’re not a practiced live speaker. Perhaps, you’d love to be like Oprah Winfrey who has spent her life interacting with people and being on stage and on tv.
You can do that. You can step out of being you and take on the characteristics of someone else. Think of it as if you are putting on a suit, or role-playing. Here’s how:
Mentally take a moment to think about the person you’d like to be in that moment. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes and visualize them and how they would behave in a similar situation. Then, mentally or on paper list the traits they exhibit that you admire.
Before you get into action, tell yourself you are going to be like that person. Alternatively, you can tell yourself you are going to model their traits. Anytime you lose confidence go back remind yourself of this.
If it helps, you can build an avatar – a detailed description – of how that person looks and behaves on paper. If have access to your avatar from anywhere you can remind yourself of the qualities you would like to exhibit.
Eventually, you’ll stop needing to put on your “character suit” because the behaviors you’ve been practicing are yours, because you’ve physically rewired your brain.
#3 – Visualizations:
Your brain does not know the difference between you visualizing yourself taking action or physically taking action. The same pathways in the brain fire. The more a pathway is triggered the faster it speeds up. Which means, the action will become automatic to you and your body.
This means, you can mentally practice achieving any desired outcome. When you see yourself winning in your mind you’ll start to believe in yourself and become more confident.
So visualize a scenario where you see yourself being confident. You can visualize a performance many times prior to it. However, if you find yourself in a moment of weakness right before or during an activity, simply close your eyes for a few moments and see yourself achieving what you desire. In your minds eye, see yourself e confident on demand
For instance, if you’re standing behind a curtain waiting to go on stage and you’re feeling nervous, you can close your eyes and practice seeing yourself speaking eloquently in front of an engaged audience. When you step on stage the negative chatter will die and you’ll step into being confident.
These three confidence-boosting tactics can be used anytime, anywhere. Try them two or three times before you say they aren’t working for you. Get over the “this is silly, why am I doing this?” thoughts that you may have and do it anyway. You’ll love the results.
And, if you love what you’ve read here, grab this free guide: 12 Ways to Be Confident On-Demand.