Have you ever wondered how to be more aware of unconscious thoughts controlling your behavior?
Well, first off, in any instance where you want to be more aware of what your subconscious thoughts are, get quiet, get still and listen to your inner voice.
You can learn a lot from being quiet, separating yourself from the action of your life and listening to what you have to say to, well, you!
Any time you are exhibiting a negative behavior that’s not how you want to be, there are two questions you can ask yourself that will help you delve deep and find out what you’re really dealing with.
Because, you see, humans are survival based and we go to great lengths to protect ourselves. We even lie and play tricks with ourselves sometimes. So, it helps to have a conversation with yourself and ask yourself what’s really going on.
Simply ask yourself the two questions below…
How to be more aware of the unconscious thoughts controlling your behavior
When you have a negative behavior you’d like to change you want to ask yourself:
Question 1: What am I being fake about in this instance?
In other words, you want to get to what the underlying feeling, desire or fear is that is causing you to behave in a way you don’t want. You want to define what you’re pretending.
Then ask yourself…
Question 2: What am I trying cover up?
This is the reason for why you’re being fake about something. It’s the deep dark secret you’re trying to protect.
Here’s an example of a time I used this to get to the bottom of negative behavior I I was dealing with. It will help to illustrate how this can be used…
Situation:
I had too much to do. My son was at home and needing my attention. And I had a lot of work projects to complete. The house was messy and it needed a clean among other housekeeping chores. And, I also had a few things I wanted to do for myself, such as go for a run.
I found myself feeling overwhelmed and I was taken by this emotion. There was no clarity. And I kept saying: “I have too much to do and I don’t know what to do”. Despite my state of overwhelm, I recognized it as an negative emotion that I deal with a lot of the time.
So, I stopped, got quiet and asked myself these questions.
Question 1: What am I being fake about in this instance?
My internal answer: It’s not that I’m being fake about overwhelm because I really do feel that I am. But, I keep saying “I don’t know what to do”. That’s not true at all. That’s where I’m being inauthentic. I’m a master of organizing tasks and managing multiple things and have all the tools to do so.
Then I ask myself question 2…
Question 2: What am I trying cover up?
My state of confusion of “I don’t know what to do” is covering up the fact that I’m just tired and I want to use overwhelm and confusion to let myself off the hook to be responsible around doing anything.
What’s authentic for me here is that I’m tired and I have a lot to do and that I know how to manage it all. And when I have this revelation I feel calm and at peace. I realize I know what to do to manage my day, but that I also recognize I need to really relax and take a long break very soon.
Get real with yourself about what’s really going on
This process of asking and searching for the answers to these two questions allows you to get real with yourself about what’s really going on. When you’re willing to be honest, you will gain calm and clarity over anything you’re dealing with.
These are the best two questions to go to when you want to get to the root of a consistent negative behavior.
