Use the six methods below to be a people magnet. Not only that, you will deepen the connections with all the people in your life (and soon-to-be in your life!) that are important to you – your lovers, family members, friends and coworkers.
While all the relationships you have are different, they require the same qualities of being an amazing friend.
How to have people love you by being an amazing friend
1. Listen more. When you spend time with someone, really listen to what they say. Give them the space to express themselves. Allow them to lead the conversation.
All people have a deep desire to be heard and understood. And most people are terrible listeners. Giving your listening to other people is one of the most generous gifts you can give.
When you listen to people they love to be around you because they experience being listened to. This makes them feel important.
2. Share authentically. Share authentically about what you’re out to accomplish in life. Share about your victories. Be honest about your struggles.
Sharing authentically creates deep bonds, because in most cases what’s happening to you, others can relate to. When you share relatable experiences it brings you closer to people.
When you share about your challenges it also ignites in others a desire to help you in any way they can. Most people love to be of service to others. Let them. And be of service back.
3. Make the effort. If there is someone in your life or someone you want to get to know, don’t wait for them to invite you somewhere, take this on yourself.
Even if you’re the only one who seems to be making a consistent effort, if you want a relationship with this person, keep doing it. Most people aren’t good at taking initiative. So, if they don’t reciprocate planning or inviting you places, keep doing it until they do. Take 100% responsibility for who you are in all relationships.
Drop your expectations. Give unconditionally. Be useful where you can. Make people who are important to you feel special.
4. Hold people to their greatest self. This isn’t about flattery, it’s about seeing the greatness in people that they don’t see for themselves and then holding them to it.
For instance, let’s say you have a friend that is supposed to give a presentation and hates public speaking. They say to you: “I’m not a natural performer and I have nothing good to say. I don’t want to do this”. You say (and you really think this): “Are you kidding? I’ve seen you present and it blew me a way! You are so great with people. They are engaged in what you say. And you can talk about so many topics. To be honest, I think you’re such an incredible presenter that you should be on tv”.
When you do this, people get who they are beyond what they think of themselves. They see their greatness in you and it has them want to be around you. You lift them up.
5. Be a vault. Trustworthiness is a crucial quality for successful relationships. You should feel safe with the people you care about just as they should feel safe to confide in you. Be a vault. If you desire to tell someone else’s secret, tell yourself to”shut up”. Protect your friends as you would wish to be protected.
6. Cut the gossip. Don’t gossip about people. Period. Start relating to gossip as a disgusting habit. It’s not that you can’t speak about others, just don’t say bad judgmental things about them. Great relationships don’t require gossip to foster bonds.
Keep in mind: If anyone in your life engages in gossip with you, they likely talk about you to others behind your back. If they try to engage you in gossip just stick to saying nice things about the person your speaking about or change the topic.
Stick to these six rules and you’ll attract people easily into your life. You will also become a better person yourself. Someone you are proud to be in relationships. You’ll learn more about life and about yourself from the people in your life. And they will learn from you.
Life is all about relationships, choose them wisely. Go be with people that make you smile, laugh and inspire you to be your best you.